tag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:/blogs/your-stories?p=1Your Stories2023-07-28T09:30:17-07:00ActionLink: The Center Action Networkfalsetag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/72488432023-07-28T09:30:17-07:002023-10-16T07:52:12-07:00A Love Letter to the LGBTQ+ Community<p>Castelle reflects on her time at CenterLink and the importance of LGBTQ+ community centers.</p><div class="video-container size_l justify_center" style=""><iframe data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="i0hYrPeQlJ4" data-video-thumb-url="" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/i0hYrPeQlJ4?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></div>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/72351952023-06-30T10:28:13-07:002023-06-30T10:28:13-07:00What Does Pride Mean To You?<p dir="ltr"><strong>Story written by Castelle, ActionLink's Policy and Advocacy Organizer</strong></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">As we come to the end of Pride Month, I would like to focus on two people who helped me on my journey to come out, accept, and celebrate myself and my community. While I was not surrounded by many queer adults during my childhood, one of my best friends had two mothers who were powerful presences in our lives growing up. I was thrilled when my friend, Kayla, and one of her mothers, Susan, agreed to e-meet with me. My prompt for both conversations was, “What does pride mean to you?”</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Susan told me that growing up she did not necessarily “feel gay.” She was born in the 1950's in San Francisco, so she was surrounded by all of the human rights movements of the ‘60s. Being gay however, was not something that was promoted in her immediate life.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/285455/5eacd46027852d44e004accb32c5faf203f8d635/original/1.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_m justify_left border_" />She had an uncle who lived with a man and she told me that she never knew what that meant. For her, pride means that nothing has to be a secret in our society anymore. She says that people like her uncle can live truthfully because there is so much representation now. She recognizes that there is still hate, prejudice, and fear, but there has also been a lot of change since she was first exploring her sexuality. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Susan started dating women in the ‘80s, but she never felt comfortable outing herself in certain situations like her workplace. That all changed, however, when she had a daughter. Susan told me that she wanted to raise her daughter to know that both she and her parents were accepted, so being secretive was out of the question. Revisiting the question of what pride means to her, Susan said that it is accepting people as exactly who they are, no matter what pronouns they use or who they like, and creating a space where they can feel safe in their own skin. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">I then got to interview Kayla, who has been traveling and working across Australia for the past six months. Kayla said that to her, pride is not just a month, it is all the little moments of her life where she witnessed her mothers feeling strong and good about themselves while not conforming to a standard set by society. Kayla told me that she loves Pride Month more each year as she is getting older and becoming closer to her identity. She said that the pride events are about connecting with and feeling good while being surrounded by queer people. Kayla told me that it is important to keep celebrating and bringing awareness because there are a lot of people at risk in the United States. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Waking up to the </span><a class="no-pjax" href="https://lgbtactionlink.org/latest-news/blog/7235187/supreme-court-decision-undermines-protections-for-lgbtq-people" target="_blank" data-link-type="url"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"><strong><u>news from the Supreme Court</u></strong></span></a><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"> today was hard because it painted a picture that society deems our community as “less than”. This is why we need Pride. We need representation, collaboration, and celebration, and we need it now and in the future. If it were not for Susan, I would not have had a queer role model growing up. People like Kayla’s family are so important because they embody love and strength while also illustrating that we will not step down and conform. We are here, and we are not going anywhere.</span></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/72184372023-05-31T12:08:21-07:002023-05-31T12:13:15-07:00Mental Health and the LGBTQ+ Community<p dir="ltr"><strong>Story written by Castelle, ActionLink's Policy and Advocacy Organizer</strong></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">For Mental Health Awareness Month, I attempted to collect voices from different backgrounds within the LGBTQ+ community to reflect on how anti-LGBTQ+ policies have affected their mental health. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">I was successful in contacting two incredible, hardworking, articulate young adults. The first was a young woman who had just graduated from her Masters program in Neuroscience from Georgetown University. The second was a nonbinary person who had just completed their undergrad program at the first educational institution their parents had allowed them to attend that was not Catholic.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/285455/dc2dc2e9bb6e2f37dd62f38d4a0113786fb2c643/original/untitled-design-1.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Going into the interviews, I was not completely sure what I was going to write about, but after hours on the phone with these bright yet emotionally bogged down people, I decided to get on my soapbox and flag the difficulties that many people their age are facing due to the anti-LGBTQ+ political atmosphere and general anti-LGBTQ rhetoric that has been around for ages. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">The young woman that I talked to grew up in Tampa, Florida. She identifies as a brown woman and a bisexual who came from a religious family with liberal parents. She told me that growing up, school counselors would tell her to just “not be gay” when she came to them for being bullied due to her sexuality. She was twelve years old the first time she was told to “stop being gay”.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">She also talked about the open carry laws that are being passed in Florida, and how they make her feel unsafe and constantly on alert when checking the news about her home state, further complicating her mental health status.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">The second young person I interviewed comes from a conservative Catholic background where they were never taught about the LGBTQ+ community until they started meeting queer friends in high school. They are closeted as far as their parents go, and they shared that their father believes that transgender people are selfish. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">When I asked both of my interviewees how they protected their mental health, their answer was substance-related. At first, I was surprised that two successful young adults would utilize drugs and alcohol as their coping mechanisms. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">However, the young woman reminded me about the statistics of people in minority communities dealing with substance abuse. A quick search on the internet backed up her claims. The National Institute on Drug Abuse gathered data in 2020 and found that people who identified as a sexual minority were two times more likely to use and abuse drugs and have substance abuse disorders. The Institute says that with all of the stressors that the LGBTQ+ community faces, they are also more likely to develop certain mental health issues which includes substance abuse disorders.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">At the close of our interview, the young woman shared a quote with me that stuck out. “All the nice queer people are gone because of your policies, and now you are stuck with us.” It seems this is a common theme among younger generations of LGBTQ+ people. They want change, and they will work to make it happen despite facing personal challenges such as maintaining good mental health.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0)!important;">As a whole, the LGBTQ+ community is constantly dealing with cruel legislation, ugly rhetoric, and mental health issues, but we have and will continue to overcome these things. In order for this to happen, however, we need support. Our community and our allies must think about how to educate others about both LGBTQ+ rights and LGBTQ+ struggles so that we may become stronger together.</span></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/72108462023-05-17T12:50:16-07:002023-05-31T12:08:36-07:00Lani Ka’ahumanu: AAPI Activist and Inspiration<p dir="ltr"><strong>Story written by Castelle, ActionLink's Policy and Advocacy Organizer</strong></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">This past week, while searching on tik tok for LGBTQ+ advocacy inspiration, I came across a video documenting the life of activist Lani Ka’ahumanu. After learning about Ka’ahumanu, an AAPI identifying woman who pioneered the bisexual visibility movement, I knew she was a person I had to meet. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/285455/1faa1c6aa5237afd3ab1a2f59c7dba3d24f41208/original/1.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_m justify_left border_" />From our first virtual meeting, it became clear to me that Ka’ahumanu is a firecracker. The first question that I was asked by her was, “who else in the AAPI community are you interviewing to get a range of voices?” When I told her that I had only gotten as far as her this month, she immediately started throwing connections my way. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Lani Ka’ahumanu is all about inclusivity. She has been an activist since the 60s. She told me that she started by collecting food for the Black Panther free breakfast program. Upon finding out that people working in grape fields were not provided porta potties, she picketed safeway. She advocated against the Vietnam war. The reason she did this all was because it made sense to her. She told me that there was “good energy fighting the good fight” and that she wanted to keep it up. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">The next question that I was asked by Ka’ahumanu was whether she could comment on the CenterLink website. I said of course, CenterLink is always committed to growing and improving. She then brought to my attention that on our website, when one goes to look for information on HIV/AIDS, the language is not inclusive of the bisexual community who was hit hard by this illness. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/285455/abc2160278aada49c908ad873eb34f3ee852feb3/original/2.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_m justify_right border_" />In fact, Ka’ahumanu lost two of her seven founding members of BiPOL, a bisexual political group to HIV/AIDS. As a proud member of the bi/pansexual community, I was shocked that I had never considered the role that biphobia plays both inside and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community. Upon reflection, I have realized that just because I have never encountered biphobia does not mean that it was not there all along. It was hard for me to understand my sexuality. It actually took my partner coming out to me as a transgender man for me to feel comfortable labeling myself. When I mentioned this to Ka’ahumanu, she told me that she had a similar experience being afraid of identifying as bisexual, but then she decided to take it and run with it.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">My short conversation with Lani Ka’ahumanu taught me more about inclusivity and passion. She has been working on behalf of the human race for over sixty years, and she is quite the inspiration.</span></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/71703452023-03-13T09:40:56-07:002023-05-31T12:09:08-07:00Holistic Healthcare and the LGBTQ+ Community with Dr. Jonathan Mathais Lassiter, PhD <p dir="ltr"><i><strong>Dr. Jonathan Mathais Lassiter, PhD was interviewed by Castelle, ActionLink's Policy and Advocacy Organizer, in March of 2023. This is her account of Dr. Lassiter's views on holistic healthcare and the LGBTQ+ community.</strong></i></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">The first time I learned about the social determinants of health and how the intersectionality of one's identities informs their experiences with both mental and physical health was in Abnormal Psychology with Dr. Jonathan Mathais Lassiter, PhD during my second year of college. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/285455/c60de4ef0d4741a26647f480b29b00ad01a74acd/original/lassiter-head-shot.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Dr. Lassiter is a clinical psychologist, author, and educator who focuses on culturally informed psychotherapy, research and intervention. A Black, same-gender-loving man himself, Dr. Lassiter has long understood the importance of accepting and supporting people from different multicultural backgrounds. CenterLink honored Black History Month by sharing Queer Black icons that impacted the LGBTQ+ movement. I was reminded of Dr. Lassiter’s class and how much he helped shape my view of community and health, and so I was delighted when he accepted my request for an interview.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Dr. Lassiter uses a holistic approach to health. In quoting Audrey Lorde he said, </span><span style="color:rgb(24,24,24);">“There is no thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.” </span><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">I recognize the importance of mind, body and spirit and how they work together to inform a person's resilience. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Dr. Lassiter stressed that because people are forced to be resilient, our society is not functioning properly. He stated that Black communities are undereducated, LGBTQ+ youth are 4 times more likely to be homeless, and suicide rates of young Black people are increasing. Dr. Lassiter commented that we have built an oppressive society that has failed our communities, forcing them to build resiliency, and his work is, in part, to help people do so. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/285455/04b049c31fc7d43fa5f75d875b75c3d2d58a8f00/original/screen-shot-2023-03-11-at-10-28-19-am.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_m justify_right border_" />When asked what program he would add to a community center if he had one, Dr. Lassiter proposed a mind, body, and spirit workshop. He suggested a class on the brain and psychology in general, but one that would also include activities like dance parties and guided meditations. He explained that trauma could get lodged in the body, and movement can help people unlock how they are feeling. Therefore, a guided conversation after each activity would allow people to express what came up for them. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">Finally, Dr. Lassiter expressed the importance of inclusive communities. For him, community exists when there are common values and goals. This, however, does not mean that people have to agree. Dr. Lassiter spoke on the importance of respecting people’s processes when they are learning, because we do not all learn everything at the same time, and it is normal for people to learn at their own paces. Therefore, respect is bidirectional, and we should support each other as we go through the process of growth.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">To Dr. Lassiter, communities are important because they provide resources and model what love and acceptance looks like. Dr. Lassiter believes that we are stronger at combating oppression on all levels when we are inclusive. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);"><i>CenterLink thanks Dr. Lassiter for his time and the wealth of knowledge that he shared with us.</i></span></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/71469642023-02-01T09:47:48-07:002023-05-31T12:09:29-07:00Mass Shootings: An Anti-LGBTQ “Phenomenon"<p><strong>Story written by Castelle, ActionLink's Policy and Advocacy Organizer</strong></p><p>Waking up on November 20th to the tragic news emerging from Colorado was an eye opening experience for me. I felt a mixture of anger, sadness, and fear as I combed through the chilling personal accounts of people who had considered Club Q to be a safe space for the queer community in Colorado Springs. Sadly, this is not the first time that one of our safe spaces has been shattered. I was sixteen when the horrific shooting at Pulse nightclub occurred. I remember the numbness that I felt around the event, the power that I did not have as a closeted teen trying to make it out of high school without losing my mind from all the stressors that teens have to overcome these days. As a twenty-two year old queer woman dating a transgender man, attending law school, and working as an LGBTQ activist, I knew that the numbness I felt at sixteen could not shield me from the realities of living in the United States today. </p><p>According to the Gun Violence Archive as of 2pm on January 31st, since the beginning of this year, there have been fifty-four mass shootings across the country with 3,597 lost lives resulting. Under the “Explainer” tab on their website, one can find the statement that “Mass Shootings are, for the most part an American phenomenon.” A simple google search for “<a class="no-pjax" href="https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/" target="_blank" data-link-type="url" contents="mass shooting statistics">mass shooting statistics</a>” confirms that claim.</p><p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/52f11ca30a2b5a8e86aa9da2d9b287b5bf75c509/original/1.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" alt="" />Mass shootings in the United States are also an LGBTQ issue. According to the <a class="no-pjax" href="https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/blog/news/facts-and-statistics-about-the-impact-of-gun-violence-on-lgbtq-people/" target="_blank" data-link-type="url" contents="Sandy Hook Promise">Sandy Hook Promise</a>, a group created after one of the many school shootings that rocked our country, LGBTQ people are two times more likely than their straight, cisgender peers to be a victim of gun violence in the United States. Furthermore, this is an issue for our children. Almost one out of every three transgender youth are threatened or attacked with a weapon in school. In my graduating class, there were at least three transgender kids, did one of them experience that kind of trauma when they were younger? It is a tragic and terrifying reality and it must change.</p><p>On December 14th, 2022, the survivors of Club Q and other anti gun violence activists <a class="no-pjax" href=".%E2%80%9D%20https://www.cnn.com/2022/12/14/politics/club-q-survivors-hearing/index.html" target="_blank" data-link-type="url" contents="met with">met with</a> the House Oversight and Reform committee. A bartender who survived that night in Club Q, Micheal Anderson, delivered a clear message to the committee. He declared, “To the politicians and activists who accuse LGBTQ people of grooming children and being abusers: shame on you, as leaders of our country, it is your obligation to represent all of us, not just the ones you happen to agree with. Hate speech turns into hate action, and actions based on hate almost took my life from me, at 25 years old.”</p><p>This is the message that I want to communicate in this article. We cannot be complacent in the face of hate. Our community has been through too much, our children have been through too much. We must keep telling our stories, calling our lawmakers, and voting for the people that will accept all of their constituents.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/71216402022-12-12T10:34:57-07:002023-05-31T12:13:15-07:00Why The Respect For Marriage Act Is Not The End<p><strong>Kristin Flickinger, executive director of Pacific Pride Foundation, shares her thoughts on the passage of the Respect for Marriage Act. Published in the </strong><a class="no-pjax" href="https://www.independent.com/2022/12/09/for-now-we-celebrate/" target="_blank" data-link-type="url" contents="Santa Barbara Independent"><strong>Santa Barbara Independent</strong></a><strong> on December 9th, 2022.</strong></p><p>Twenty years ago, I was a field organizer in the Oregon marriage campaigns. I remember a team of volunteers coming back from knocking on doors, wide-eyed and breathing hard as they told the story of being chased from a voter’s property with a shotgun after disclosing that they were there to talk about same-sex marriage. As a young lawyer, I had studied contracts and constitutions, but as an organizer, I had a front row seat to the deep emotional connection that people had to the idea of marriage. </p><p>Marriage is not just one thing. It’s a contract. A complicated agreement between not only the partners, but the state as well. An agreement that allows — and guarantees — rights to flow from the state to the couple and its members. That’s why we’re talking about legal recognition in the first place. It’s also a meaningful, public demonstration of the love between two people. For many, it represents the validation of a couple’s union, and an ideal to which many aspire. Both of these things are important, and the combination makes marriage a talisman — something both proponents and opponents of same-sex marriage hold close to as a proxy for acceptance and protection, if not equality. </p><p>I remember the day after we lost marriage in Oregon. I remember driving up the I-5 corridor on a crystal-clear day, looking at incredibly beautiful mountains, and having a moment where I realized that the people around me — the majority of the people in the state — didn’t think that I could or should experience joy or happiness because of who I loved. </p><p>The complexities of constitutional law, and the intricacies of third-party contracts are one thing, but the impact of understanding — truly understanding — that you are protected and valued is quite another. </p><p>This week, Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act. That is something to celebrate. The Respect for Marriage Act is historic in its scope and in its bipartisan support for the LGBTQ+ community. It’s a protective measure, designed to spring into place if the U.S. Supreme Court decides to overturn the Obergefell decision, which made same-sex marriage the law of the land across all of the United States in 2015. </p><p>While it’s limited by the complexities of the U.S. Constitution, what the Respect for Marriage Act can, and does, do is require states to recognize marriages that happen in other states, meaning that so long as a marriage takes place in a state where it’s legal, all other states have to recognize it. What it doesn’t do is require all states to allow same-sex marriages to take place within their borders. </p><p>Twenty years ago, I watched what happened when a state went from issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, to issuing refunds for marriage license fees. More than 3,000 same-sex couples who had been married received refund checks in the mail for the $60 marriage license fee as their marriage certificate became nothing but a piece of paper. </p><p>The Respect for Marriage Act goes a long way toward protecting the tens of thousands of married same-sex and interracial couples in our country — and the untold others who have planned their lives around the freedom to marry the person they love. That is a good thing. It also signals that our Members of Congress are willing to protect LGBTQ+ people — something especially encouraging since there is another bill, the Equality Act, that has been passed by the House and is waiting in the Senate. The Equality Act would go even further, providing federal non-discrimination protection in education, housing, health care, and more. </p><p>This week, Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act, and within days, the President will sign it into law. As someone who has been in the fight for marriage equality for two decades, I’ll count this as cause to celebrate, but none of us should consider it the end.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/69482142022-04-14T09:04:57-07:002022-04-14T11:01:27-07:00UkrainePride: On The Front Lines In Ukraine<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/1105679f868261ed2a426ec6eeb876b9c7fa162c/original/111.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />Prior to the war in their country, <a contents="UKRAINEPRIDE" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.ukrainepride.org/" target="_blank">UkrainePride</a> was working on bringing attention to the passing of Bill 5488, which would make Ukraine safe for everyone regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, or ethnicity. Co-founder Yura Dvizhon states, “UkrainePride never has been and never will be a workplace where we go to make money. It's a place that helps us express our LGBTQ+ statements and create human rights campaigns and projects.” </p>
<p>But on February 24th, 2022, everything changed. The Russian Federation invaded peaceful and democratic Ukraine and began destroying hospitals, schools, and many other civilian buildings. Like many others, the LGBTQ+ population is no different. They stepped up to help in any way they could, joining territorial defense units and volunteer organizations united in the efforts to secure freedom for their country.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/f30742ca7a7538008b34901989a7dcfe0ddd7b11/original/ukrainepride-2.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />While there is still work to be done in Ukraine when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights, the country as a whole is making real progress in terms of the acceptance of LGBTQ+ people. The LGBTQ+ population does not want to become part of the Russian Federation or be forced to flee to a more hostile country that could have anti-gay laws on the books. In fact, many transgender women are unable to leave Ukraine because their government IDs still mark them as male – and men ages 18-60 are forced to stay under the country's law. Even if they do leave, transphobia is pervasive in some neighboring countries, which could make them more susceptible to violence. </p>
<p>UkrainePride immediately went into crisis intervention mode too. The first few weeks of the war were spent focusing on raising money for LGBTQ+ military personnel and queer refugees and their families. They eventually branched out into assisting queer families who stayed in Ukraine, including parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, even pets; offering food, clothing, medicine, relocation, and temporary accommodations. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/426bb687bf10298c4921d1066f45580896fea529/original/ukrainepride-4.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />Bucha, Irpin, and Hostomel were destroyed by Russian forces, leaving the small villages in ashes and hundreds of its citizens lying dead in the streets or dumped into mass graves. Unspeakable acts of violence occurred there, and President Biden went as far as to say Russia committed genocide after the world saw the horrors that had occurred in Bucha. UkrainePride knew they were needed, so they began to do outreach in the hardest hit areas, offering people in those villages basic necessities: food, clothing, medicine. </p>
<p>And most recently they began providing food and medicine to another extremely vulnerable group – older adults. Dvizhon says, “We’re now helping four very different groups of people, two of which may not be directly connected with the LGBTQ+ population…..but we cannot ignore the need, so if we can be of help, we will be.” </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/e19bf66fe19f146da5d1949b7bd4b8fd170d4e34/original/ukrainepride-3.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />As long as there is work to be done, UkrainePride will be on the front lines. Co-founder Sofiia Lapina continues to work from Berlin via laptop while Dvizhon remains in Western Ukraine, working between air raid sirens and running from his flat to a nearby bomb shelter when they go off. </p>
<p>Says Dvizhon, “Previously we had experience with direct organization, as well as joining in with resistance movements, local self-defense trainings, and other volunteer opportunities, all of which are helping us to stay organized now. UkrainePride was here for our community before the war, we will be here for them during the war, and we will be here long after.”</p>
<p><strong>To donate to UKRAINEPRIDE visit this link:</strong></p>
<p><a contents="https://www.ukrainepride.org/donate" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.ukrainepride.org/donate" target="_blank">https://www.ukrainepride.org/donate</a></p>
<p><strong><a contents="Paypal" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.paypal.com" target="_blank">Paypal</a>: info@ukrainepride.org</strong></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/69353882022-03-29T16:02:50-07:002022-03-29T18:34:36-07:00LGBTQ+ People On The Front Lines In Ukraine<p>As the war rages on in Ukraine, the LGBTQ+ community has shown up to serve their country in various capacities. A Russian occupation could make the Ukraine’s LGBTQ+ community a target for serious persecution. Currently Ukraine does not legally recognize same-sex marriage, but it’s believed that acceptance is just a few years away. They’ve allowed Pride marches for over 12 years, and while Ukraine still has a ways to go, the country as a whole has made significant progress in terms of LGBTQ+ equality. </p>
<p>Russia on the other hand, formally banned same-sex marriage in 2021 — even though it hadn't been allowed there anyway — and passed a law against so-called "gay propaganda" in 2013, which made it illegal to promote gay rights. </p>
<p><strong>Andriy Maymulakhin</strong>, a Coordinator at the Nash Mir (Our World) Gay and Lesbian Centre in Luhansk Ukraine lives in a village outside of Kyiv and hears heavy gunfire and explosions daily. He told InterPride that he's been helping to cut down pine trees in the forest to block roads in hopes of preventing Russian troops from passing through. Andriy thinks the LGBTQ+ community will be among the most vulnerable should Russia occupy Ukraine in the future. “It is very likely that LGBTQ+ activists will end up on the lists for concentration camps or extermination," he says. </p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/e8323429650e0650af5ed0311f0bb55945b56cc5/original/alexander.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />Alexander</strong> is 37 years old and has spent the last 7 years with his boyfriend. His boyfriend is a director, Alexander is an actor and an acting coach. Until February 24th, neither of them had ever held a weapon in their hands. Now the two of them spend their days as part of the Territorial Defense Force in the city of Kiev. Alexander says in a Facebook post, “In our peaceful life we are open, in this new military life so far, we live by the principle of don't ask - don't tell. Hopefully this will change soon. After Ukraine’s victory, we are hoping to see a huge mental shift when it comes to LGBTQ+ people. So many of us are serving our country right now”. </p>
<p><strong>Hope</strong>, a self-identified lesbian who lives outside of the besieged city of Mariupol said, “Mariupol residents now live in their basements or on the streets. They are in the cold, with no lights, water, food, or heat. Their bodies tremble with constant explosions, their lives are scarier than hell, they have lost loved ones and cannot bury them. Bodies are just lying everywhere. Ninety percent of our city is just gone, destroyed by constant shelling and bombing. And now the latest news is they’re taking people into filtration camps, away from their homeland into enemy territory. Who knows what will become of them, especially if they are found to be gay?” <em>Shortly after our first interview with Hope, the city of Mariupol was completely taken over by Russian forces and we have not been able to make contact with her since. </em></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/fec4fd3c7142345025391c1d0917d5dbba6682f2/original/yarna.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />Yaryna</strong> is a combat medic, currently providing first aid and field treatment to sick and wounded soldiers. She is an open bisexual, participates in equality marches, and takes an active position in the protection of human rights. Yaryna says being in a full-scale war means making dozens of small and larger choices constantly, and she said you often discover a harshness within you that had never been there before, or you never knew existed. “How many of us will have dead hearts after this war” she mused, “which will last even after the combat actions stop?”. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/6afaee4eaddead38d1ff9a4d2ee3334e09e37035/original/elya.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />We have already lost a prominent LGBTQ+ activist to the war. A Russian airstrike earlier this month took the life of Ukrainian LGBTQ+ advocate <strong>Elya Shchemur</strong>, a well-loved advocate and volunteer for Kharkiv Pride. She was killed during the bombing of Kharkiv city. Elya was volunteering at the local territorial defense office at the time. </p>
<p>The escalation of conflict in Ukraine has triggered an immediate response from the LGBTQ+ community there, and as always, LGBTQ+ centers and organizations are on the ground, establishing shelters, collecting donations of clothing and food, raising funds, offering humanitarian assistance to people displaced as a result of the violence, and bolstering partners in Europe to enable them to serve the most vulnerable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Here is what you can do to best help LGBTQ+ people in Ukraine:</strong></p>
<ul> <li><strong><a contents="Call on congress to stand with vulnerable Ukrainians and uphold protections for displaced and at-risk populations." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://cwsglobal.org/action-alerts/urgent-call-on-congress-to-stand-with-vulnerable-ukrainians-and-uphold-protections-for-displaced-and-at-risk-populations/" target="_blank">Call on congress to stand with vulnerable Ukrainians and uphold protections for displaced and at-risk populations.</a></strong></li> <li>Ukraine Pride is raising money for LGBTQ+ military personnel and queer refugees and their families. You can donate here: <a contents="https://www.ukrainepride.org/donate&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.ukrainepride.org/donate" target="_blank"><strong>https://www.ukrainepride.org/donate</strong> </a>
</li> <li>Fill out this form from QUA, a non-government organization in the United States that assists LGBTQ+ Ukrainians and their allies. Let them know how you are able to aid Ukrainian LGBTQ+ refugees arriving in the states. <strong><a contents="QUA Aid Network: Offering Aid (google.com)" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQrY1TxXvpYHaqIyBdEIkoVWzD8RR2S_DuchjI_aXnyy34Eg/viewform" target="_blank">QUA Aid Network: Offering Aid (google.com)</a> </strong>
</li> <li>Donate to QUA/Fulcrum Ukraine here: <strong><a contents="https://qua.community/news/donation-options/&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://qua.community/news/donation-options/" target="_blank">https://qua.community/news/donation-options/ </a></strong>
</li> <li>Prague Pride, in cooperation with other LGBTQ+ organizations in the area, has created a help system for Ukrainian LGBTQ+ people and their families. They are assisting refugees with accommodation issues, financial advice, and language translation. You can make a donation to Prague Pride through Alturi. Alturi gives concerned Americans the chance to make a difference at the local level for LGBTQ+ people around the world. <span style="display: none;"> </span><strong><a contents="https://alturi.org/ukraine/" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://alturi.org/ukraine/" target="_blank">https://alturi.org/ukraine/</a></strong>
</li>
</ul>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/69309722022-03-24T10:29:55-07:002022-03-24T10:42:57-07:00Dennis's Story: My Mother Had To Flee Ukraine<p>Dennis identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community and resides in New York. His mother was living in Kyiv when the attack on Ukraine began, and within days her entire world crumbled. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/8e12b4eb157e0d76c709f786ab9d2f887d546cda/original/woman-old-hands.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />Dennis knew his mother had to leave Kyiv but convincing her to go was difficult. She had barely traveled anywhere during the course of her life, and now she was being asked to pack a small bag and leave her home to go to a foreign country all by herself in the middle of a war. She was set on waiting it out, but Dennis was terrified, and eventually convinced her to leave her home. He said they were fortunate to have cell phone contact during every step of her journey. </p>
<p>She headed for the train station and found complete mayhem there. The original plan was for her to go to Budapest, because Dennis’s company has a large presence there and he knew coworkers would be willing to assist his mother upon her arrival. Instead, she ended up on a train to Poland then to Prague, where she was assisted by Prague Pride. </p>
<p>Dennis said his local PFLAG group connected him to Alturie, an organization that was created to help improve the living conditions of LGBTQ+ people globally by educating the public, engaging partners and allies, and encouraging and facilitating support. Alturie linked Dennis with Prague Pride, who is working to assist displaced LGBTQ+ Ukrainians and their families with legal, psychological, and financial issues as well as to provide accommodations, clothing, and food to those in need. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/d4800616ee5015f311a276a2fbb2f947326f2af0/original/suitcase.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />Dennis is grateful to Prague Pride for immediately making his mother feel at home and assisting her with finding temporary accommodations. They are now helping her settle into a long-term living situation while the war rages on in Ukraine. She still wishes to return to her homeland once it is safe to do so. </p>
<p>Prague Pride has set up an email address for those needing to reach out: <a contents="help@praguepride.com" data-link-label="" data-link-type="email" href="mailto:help@praguepride.com" target="_blank">help@praguepride.com</a>. </p>
<p><strong>You can make a donation to Prague Pride through Alturi. Alturi gives concerned Americans the chance to make a difference at the local level for LGBTQ+ people around the world. <a contents="https://alturi.org/ukraine/" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://alturi.org/ukraine/" target="_blank">https://alturi.org/ukraine/</a> </strong></p>
<p><em>More than 93% of your tax-deductible donation will go directly to these efforts and the other 7% is used to cover credit card and fund transfer fees.</em></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/69299922022-03-23T11:28:18-07:002022-03-24T10:31:03-07:00Sophia's Story: Leaving Ukraine<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/1aafe2939774ada5a1581b86fd9bab2e497bc188/original/ukraine-suitcase-1.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />Before the war, Sophia worked for the biggest LGBTQ+ organization in Ukraine, with headquarters in Kyiv. Prior to leaving the country, she spent two solid days in a bunker, leaving only once to go outside for some fresh air. During that break she witnessed a large armored vehicle with the Russian “Z” painted on the sides run over a car with someone still inside of it. She knew she had to leave for her own safety. </p>
<p>Sophia, her mom, and her two younger siblings left Ukraine while her father stayed behind. They waited an entire day to catch the first available train out of Kyiv, knowing they’d end up in a random city far away from their home. Sophia said people were very kind and patient at the train station, offering each other tea and food along with moral support. Eventually they boarded a train bound for the Czech Republic and ended up in the city of Prague. </p>
<p>It was Sophia’s first time abroad and while she felt safe once she arrived in Prague, she also felt unsettled so she began seeking out the LGBTQ+ community there. Once she found her people Sophia says she felt more at ease, and she said the LGBTQ+ community in Prague was incredibly helpful; offering her family food, shelter, and financial assistance. Sophia said it's a good thing she left when she did, because she was notified that her home had been hit and was completely destroyed, reduced to nothing but ashes.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/195115186ab153c24a6d05cc3afe965946840902/original/ukraine-prague.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />Prague Pride, in cooperation with other LGBTQ+ organizations in the area, has created a help system for Ukrainian LGBTQ+ people and their families. They are ready to assist with accommodation issues, financial advice, and language translation, and have set up an email address for those needing to reach out: <a contents="help@praguepride.com" data-link-label="" data-link-type="email" href="mailto:help@praguepride.com" target="_blank">help@praguepride.com</a>. </p>
<p><strong>You can make a donation to Prague Pride through Alturi. Alturi gives concerned Americans the chance to make a difference at the local level for LGBTQ+ people around the world. <a contents="https://alturi.org/ukraine/" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://alturi.org/ukraine/" target="_blank">https://alturi.org/ukraine/</a> </strong></p>
<p><em>More than 93% of your tax-deductible donation will go directly to these efforts and the other 7% is used to cover credit card and fund transfer fees.</em></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/69281282022-03-21T11:15:24-07:002022-03-22T16:51:11-07:00Vasyl's Story: Living In Ukraine During A War<p>Vasyl K. is a young LGBTQ+ person living in Western Ukraine, and because of safety reasons we won’t share exact details as to where he’s currently residing. He was living in a bigger city working as a photographer but moved back to the village his family is from when the invasion started. Originally the war was mainly situated in Southern and Central Ukraine, but it’s getting closer to where Vasyl’s family lives. </p>
<p>I asked him to tell me about his life as an LGBTQ+ person in Ukraine during a war. </p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/2f43738590fbc1ad372e0705dffbcf97b25c1407/original/capture.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />What is your typical day like since the invasion? </strong></p>
<p>It is hard to answer because it’s never a typical day anymore. Since the war has started, I haven’t had a single second where I wasn’t thinking about what’s going on here. </p>
<p>I sleep, but I don’t feel rested. Then I get up, have a cup of coffee, and read the news for hours. It’s hard to concentrate on cleaning and other routine things. Every evening I go live on my TikTok platform, sharing the reality what’s going on here. I am trying to help my country somehow. </p>
<p><strong>Are you able to keep in touch with your family and friends? </strong></p>
<p>Due to the war, I am back to living with my family. So far, I have no troubles communicating with my friends. But we have nothing to talk about besides what’s happening in my country. We don’t want to talk about anything else. </p>
<p><strong>Were you surprised by the invasion of Ukraine?</strong> </p>
<p>I wasn’t. This war actually started 8 years ago. The decision of making this a full-scale war was made a long time ago by Putin and his government. It was just a matter of time. We in Ukraine do not want to become part of Russia. We are much safer as we are. LGBTQ+ people in Russia have forever faced threats, bullying, abuse inside their own families, and of course discrimination. And in 2013 the “gay propaganda” law has increased the hostility toward LGBTQ+ people in Russia.</p>
<p><strong>Are you worried about being drafted? </strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/9e608604205430a2072c177de80b75667a50ddf6/original/capture2.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />I am worried about this, but I will go if called because I want to protect my home. It is more difficult for LGBTQ+ people to be in the military for obvious reasons. They operate on don't ask-don't tell policies. Even though Ukraine is fairly LGBTQ-friendly, they still have a ways to go. But I am afraid to talk about it too much because if someone from Russia sees I could be imprisoned or even killed. Even on my social media platforms I am careful about this topic. By the way, I am also worried that my father will be drafted. </p>
<p><strong>What would you like people to know about how you’re feeling right now? </strong></p>
<p>I want people in other countries to speak up and not remain silent. We don’t want to be forgotten. I want everyone to protest this war and to donate to Ukraine. I also want people to know that what is happening here feels like a mass extermination of civilians (Ukrainians). And I feel Putin is not going to stop with Ukraine. </p>
<p><strong>Is there a cause you’d like people to donate to? </strong></p>
<p>People can donate here. From this site they can also learn how to write a letter to their representatives asking them to help Ukraine. <a contents="https://www.standwithukraine.how" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.standwithukraine.how" target="_blank">https://www.standwithukraine.how</a></p>
<p><strong>Vasyl's TikTok: @kucherak.ph</strong></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/67061012021-08-03T16:30:53-07:002021-08-03T16:55:36-07:00Will’s Story: He Was Born This Way AND He Was Created By God<p><em><strong>As told by Will’s mother Amy Hawpe</strong></em></p>
<p><strong><em>The Hawpe Family has received support from the </em><a contents="Shenandoah LGBTQ Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.shenlgbtqcenter.org/" target="_blank">Shenandoah LGBTQ Center</a>, a member of CenterLink's community of LGBT centers.</strong></p>
<p>Will came into this world as Lillian, but as early as age three he began consistently telling us he was a boy. We were fine with him playing with “boy” toys and being more rough and rugged than his two sisters. We figured it was a phase or that he would turn out to be a tomboy. That’s not what ended up happening. The older Will got, the more he insisted he was male. It became obvious that he was battling with discomfort and anger because of the body he was in. Will began to refuse to wear any type of girl’s clothing and we’d catch him trying to cut off his hair. </p>
<p>Eventually we sought help from a counselor. Our family had never heard of the term transgender before, but counseling helped us to understand what it meant and how to best support our son. We took things slowly, still hoping it was a phase. After a few years of counseling and seeing a psychiatrist, we knew we had to allow Will to be who he was born to be. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/f00fa39e6e31ccbf849db1a43face49419b927fb/original/screenshot-20210728-075906-2.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />So, the summer before 3rd grade we talked to the school and re-introduced them to our child as our son, Will (now using he/him pronouns). Most people were supportive and did their best to help us navigate this new situation. I was told Will was the youngest transgender student to ever transition within this school system. It was a learning curve for all of us. </p>
<p>At first, the principal and superintendent decided Will could use the boy’s bathroom, but that quickly stopped when the school’s attorney advised them that Will must either use the bathroom of his assigned at birth gender or a private bathroom. Will had always felt uncomfortable using the girl’s room, so his only choice was to use the one private bathroom located in the school’s office. </p>
<p>At the time, the school was set up in pods. This meant Will had to leave the building he was in and go all the way to the office every time he needed to use the restroom. Eventually he trained his body to be on a schedule, and only used the bathroom during his lunch break, when he was in the cafeteria also located in that building. We have since learned that it is not an uncommon practice for transgender students to skip eating and drinking when they feel they do not have a safe, accessible restroom at their school. </p>
<p>As most transgender children do, Will has been forced to deal with bullying from peers and parents. We even had a parent call the school to report Will was “recruiting” kids to be trans. The truth was, they had told their daughter she could not play football because football is for boys. She has asked Will how to be a boy and he told her he did not know because he “just is a boy” and that all he had to do was change his name. This clearly shows some of the ignorance surrounding the topic of transgender youth and youth who are transitioning. No one can be turned transgender or gay. </p>
<p>Will has always loved sports. In 6th grade he decided to try out for the boys’ basketball team but was informed he could not try out for that team. Instead, they convinced him to come to a practice with the girls’ basketball team. It was devastating for him to watch the boys practicing on the other side of the gym. Will did not go back for a second practice, and even though he loves playing sports, he has not tried out for anything since. </p>
<p>Then there was the substitute teacher who yelled at Will for being in the girl’s bathroom, not realizing he was transgender. All he was trying to do was what every other kid does without any second thought - go into the bathroom, take care of business, wash their hands, and leave. He was so upset and embarrassed by this incident. No child should ever be made to feel ashamed of who they are. But Will has had his fair share of shame and hurt because of encounters like this. </p>
<p>This brings up the first argument of many non-supporters -- that allowing transgender kids to utilize the bathrooms that match their gender identity will lead to an increase in sexual assaults. This is simply unproven. In states that have already passed similar policies, there has been no increase in incidents. Transgender people are not sexual predators or deviants. Additionally, gender identity does not have anything to do with sexual orientation. </p>
<p>I think there is a simple solution for this concern. The school could require students who identify as transgender to have a letter from a counselor, psychiatrist, pediatrician, or other trusted source stating that the student does in fact need to use the bathroom that coordinates with their gender identity. This would solve the issue of a boy “becoming trans” for a day just to gain access to the girls’ facilities or vice versa and potentially give parents the peace of mind that the student is indeed transgender and not a sexual predator. </p>
<p>“This goes against God’s plan.” My family has heard all sorts of hateful things being spewed at transgender people in the name of God. As a person of faith, I can tell you with 100% certainty that Will was born this way AND he was created by God. Research is ongoing as to why kids identify as transgender, but the why is not that important to me. I know God created Will for a purpose and chose me to be his mom because He knew He could trust me to love him, accept him, protect him and fight for him. I will do everything possible to help Will fulfill his purpose in life. And while others utilize religion as a weapon to hurt and shame someone, I refuse to operate that way because I believe God only requires us to love. If we love, we do not judge or shame others. We attempt to understand others’ struggles and journeys. We do not spread hate. My son has been raised to know God loves him and he is to love ALL others no matter their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc. </p>
<p>All that being said, ultimately in a public school system, religion should not play a role in decisions like which restroom a transgender child is allowed to use or which sports team they play on. There are students of many different religious beliefs and cultures in our public schools. They all deserve to be treated equally and shown respect, love, and support. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/32e150e18fbe9f1c1d26234181ededc4375dd47b/original/screenshot-20210728-080556-2.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />It is well studied and documented that transgender kids who have a good support system at home are far less likely to commit suicide or self-harm. Imagine how much better the statistics would be if those same transgender kids felt loved and supported at school too. Proper measures must be taken to protect and nurture ALL students. </p>
<p>2021 has been the worst year yet for <a contents="anti-LGBTQ legislation" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/2021-officially-becomes-worst-year-in-recent-history-for-lgbtq-state-legislative-attacks-as-unprecedented-number-of-states-enact-record-shattering-number-of-anti-lgbtq-measures-into-law" target="_blank">anti-LGBTQ legislation</a>. With seventeen bills now signed into law, states have enacted more anti-transgender laws this year than in the last three years combined; including seven anti-trans sports bans, four religious refusal bills, two anti-trans education bills, one anti-trans medical care bill, and one anti-trans birth certificate bill. </p>
<p>And 250 more anti-LGBTQ bills have been introduced in state legislatures in 2021; some still working their way through the legal system; including bills that would prohibit transgender youth from being able to access best-practice, age-appropriate, gender-affirming medical care, bills that would prohibit transgender youth from participating in sports consistent with their gender identity, bills that would allow people to assert a religious belief as justification for failing to abide by the law or provide services to people of whom they disapprove, and bills that would prohibit transgender people from having access to restrooms consistent with their gender identity. </p>
<p>This attack on transgender youth cannot be ignored. We need people who are willing to be as courageous as Will and other transgender kids to stand up for them and support policies and laws that provide protections and equality for ALL Americans. But even more importantly, we need people to speak out against the hateful things being said to and about these children and the transgender community.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/66390102021-05-24T15:06:47-07:002021-05-24T15:14:12-07:00Kristen's Story: Utterly Unashamed Of Being Transgender<p><em><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/a590ada255604236fda24a8e7dcad3adce673d34/original/3.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_none" alt="" />You've had a very successful career as an attorney, with your own family-law focused firm in Chappaqua, NY. And in 2019 you became the first transgender president of the LGBT Bar of New York. While trans-friendly workplaces do exist, study after study proves that transgender employees still frequently experience targeted harassment and discrimination in the workplace, in addition to the fact that unemployment rate for transgender people is about three times the national average. You beat incredibly difficult odds. What motivated you to go into law, and how did you keep that motivation during times when you faced challenges and obstacles? </strong></em></p>
<p>To be honest I didn’t beat the odds as much as work around them. I went into law pretty much by accident. I went to law school nights while working in broadcast journalism. I had never planned to practice law, I planned to use my law degree to be a better journalist. </p>
<p>But when CBS terminated me for being too expensive and too old (though they never used those exact words) I began practicing law full time. I also came out, which was something I felt more confident about after speaking to another out trans family law attorney – a woman who practices in Kansas City and who has thrived after coming out mid-career. </p>
<p>Since I owned the law firm, I didn’t have any problem with that aspect, but there was, without question, hostility and some transphobia expressed by some of the lawyers who were opposing counsel. The judiciary, on the other hand, has been overwhelmingly supportive – although several of them were surprised. My favorite among them is a now retired Justice of the Supreme Court, Lawrence Ecker. I would frequently appear in front of him before and after coming out, and he made the connection after I did an LGBT issues training session for court personnel. He said, “You know, I always thought you were his daughter.” </p>
<p>Another time after opposing counsel intentionally and repeatedly misgendered me during his oral argument, using the pronoun “he” as he spoke of comments made during a hearing, the judge pointedly used, “Ms. Browde” when referring to me. </p>
<p><em><strong>Discrimination is still commonplace for LGBTQ+ Americans, and opponents of LGBTQ+ equality continue to file discriminatory bills in states across the country. 82 anti-transgender bills were introduced in the 2021 state legislative session, marking the highest number of anti-transgender bills in history. Can you talk about a time when you experienced discrimination because of who you are or who you love?</strong></em></p>
<p>I’ve been extremely lucky to walk through life with cis-assuming privilege. People look at me and simply assume I am a cisgender female, and that limits my exposure to direct personal hostility. That having been said, like each of us I have heard the slurs, the threats and the sotto voce comments. </p>
<p>I won’t pretend they aren’t hurtful. But I will not let them stop me from doing what I can to make my community a better place by working to elect better candidates, make better laws, and fix what we can. </p>
<p>By being visible in that effort and utterly unashamed of being transgender, I hope I show the cisgender world that we are no different than they are and show my LGBTQ+ family that there are no limits to what we can accomplish, no matter who tries to block us. </p>
<p><em><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/57bb53e73e2eb6a774e2c2e92154eec5fcef67d0/original/2.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />The Equality Act would ensure that all LGBTQ+ Americans can live, work, and access public spaces free from discrimination, no matter what state they call home. And the nonpartisan Public Religion Research Institute recently found that national support for the Equality Act is around 83 percent, which is the strongest level of support the bill has ever seen. Why do you personally want to see the Equality Act passed into law? </strong></em></p>
<p>None of us is equal unless all of us are equal. It is vital, and only fair, that all LGBTQ+ Americans enjoy the same rights, privileges, and opportunities as everyone else. The Equality Act would place that principle into Federal Law so that we no longer have to battle in court for the rights won in the Aimee Stephens, Bostock and Zarda cases, banning discrimination in employment. And we’d no longer have to battle with individual states pushing absurd and blatantly unconstitutional anti-LGBTQ+ bills that violate the Equal Protection clause of the U.S. Constitution. </p>
<p>We will fight as long as we have to, but the Equality Act would send a clear, unequivocal message that the kind of pandering and fear mongering present in each of these discriminatory bills must stop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>As told to Tanya Tassi of CenterLink: The Community of LGBT Centers. Kristen is a supporter of <a contents="The Loft LGBTQ+ Community Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.loftgaycenter.org/" target="_blank">The Loft LGBTQ+ Community Center</a> located in White Plains, NY.</em></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/63332462020-05-28T09:29:41-07:002021-04-16T09:52:56-07:00William's Story: My late husband's case went all the way to the Supreme Court<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/2abaadded22c311ccdc3ad22b8456ea2232a528a/original/billmooredonzarda.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></strong>In 2010, Donald (Don) Zarda was fired from his job at a skydiving company after he put a female student at ease about their physical contact for a tandem jump by informing her that he was gay. While the jump went smoothly, the student's boyfriend called later to complain. Don was originally suspended for a week and in a final discussion with his boss – which Don recorded – he was fired for misconduct for sharing "inappropriate information regarding his sexuality".</p>
<p>Donald filed a lawsuit alleging employment discrimination under the New York State Human Rights Law and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination based on sex. The court ruled that the Civil Rights Act did not protect Donald from losing his job for being gay. </p>
<p>Undeterred, Donald continued to pursue justice through the legal system. Although he passed away in 2014, William and Donald's sister represented him during arguments at the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit in September of 2014. The case went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court (SCOTUS), and on October 8th, 2019, they heard oral arguments for Donald's case along with two other cases centered around LGBTQ+ employment discrimination. The Court will soon decide if Title VII’s ban on workplace sex discrimination protects LGBTQ+ people from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. During their years-long battle, William and Donald became public advocates for LGBTQ+ equality.</p>
<p>I had the opportunity to ask William how he was feeling as he awaits the Supreme Court's verdict.</p>
<p><em><strong>I’m guessing you and Don did not enter into this process with the intention of becoming heroes, but in many ways you are. What is your advice to others who are experiencing this type of discrimination? </strong></em></p>
<p>I actually experienced this type of discrimination myself in August of 2000 just a month before Don and I met. The company was named Advocare and I worked in the corporate office in Addison/Dallas. I was given no reason for my termination. In fact, I was “Employee of the Month” at the time. I later found out from my supervisor that the CEO of the company terminated my employment because of my sexual orientation. I contacted a couple of attorneys and they told me that I had no federal protection and no protection under the employment laws of Texas.</p>
<p>I wish I had been more persistent at that time like Don was 10 years later when it happened to him. It’s hard to speak up. It caused Don a lot of hardship and suffering not only because he was fired inappropriately and lost income but because by putting himself out there for this cause it likely limited his ability to gain good employment moving forward. I remember Don asking me “What is the first thing you do when you consider an applicant for employment?” My answer...."a google search". And when you googled Don's name there were so many news articles that came up. That’s not what an employer is looking for when they are determining the hire-ability of a new employee. This termination of Don’s employment also came at the worst time in his career. It was just before he finished his bachelors degree in Aviation Management. He was never able to use it. </p>
<p>When his family and I decided to move forward with his case we received harassing phone calls and emails. We are still receiving them. Someone with thin skin could be discouraged easily. <em>I implore anyone who has been discriminated against to stay strong, stay focused, ignore the foolish idiots and the comments they will make. Stand up for yourself.</em> There is a very large world-wide family of LGBTQ+ support for you. It’s sad that in the year 2020 we are still fighting for our rights but it’s important for us - and the generations to come - not to give up and hide from this terrible discrimination. </p>
<p><em><strong>If the Supreme Court rules that LGBTQ+ people like Donald are not protected by existing federal workplace protections, anti-LGBTQ+ opponents can use the same legal reasoning to attempt to overturn critical federal protections in housing, healthcare, credit, education and more. How are you feeling as we approach decision day? Is there anything LGBTQ+ organizations and the community can do to support to your family during this time? </strong></em></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/ec10b4b5720a5e8289a058049bc1983bc5475057/original/donandbill.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" />I feel very supported by the LGBTQ+ community, the ACLU, Lambda Legal, the HRC, Freedom for All Americans, Equality Texas, and all of the other organizations that have offered support through letters, PR, and at times financial and travel support to help us fight this battle. I could not have asked for more support from my friends, immediate family, and my chosen family. I am nervous because we have a somewhat conservative Supreme Court, but I feel that in time no matter what happens with these cases, we will prevail. I’m still hopeful for a decision to be made in our favor. <em> I want everyone to understand that even if we win these cases, we are not finished.</em></p>
<p>We still need to elect representatives to the US House and Senate that will help us get the Equality Act passed. This will ensure protections in the work place along with protections in housing, education, and more. My fear is if SCOTUS rules against us in these cases, states without protection could begin to allow more discrimination against LGBTQ+ employees. Before our cases came to light, many people assumed you could not fire someone for sexual orientation. If we lose, there will be bigots who will be empowered to terminate LGBTQ+ employees based solely on sexual orientation. We might end up in a worse situation than we were before. It’s so important in this 2020 election that everyone gets out and votes to get the right people in place to govern us so that we are treated fairly moving forward. </p>
<p><em><strong>Currently there are a patchwork of federal protections across the country when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights. A gay person could drive from California to Maine and their rights would change up to 30 times depending on which state they’re in. The Equality Act could change that and mandate comprehensive federal protections for the LGBTQ+ community. One of the best ways to see legislation like the Equality Act become law is by voting. We’re helping LGBTQ+ people get registered then asking them to vote for lawmakers who support equality in 2020. Can you offer some words of encouragement to the community, talking about why it’s important for them to head to the polls this November? </strong></em></p>
<p>I may have answered this question inadvertently in my last answer before reading this question. I wanted to make sure to make a point of how important a vote is. We must not be idle and allow the same poor representation be re-elected and slow our progress, or even worse, experience four more years of reversing any positive changes we fought so hard to make. We cannot forget that if one more justice on the US Supreme Court is appointed and confirmed by the current administration that we will likely see a stop in progress not only for LGBTQ+ people, but for many other groups. This should be important to all Americans. We absolutely must focus over the next 5 months: volunteering, calling, knocking on doors to make sure we get the LGBTQ+ community mobilized and ready to elect legislators who support equality.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>As told by William Moore to Tanya Tassi</em></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/63214052020-05-18T14:32:39-07:002020-05-28T09:30:02-07:00Maria's Story: Mother's Day in Times of Corona<p><strong>As written by Maria Melo in her blog <a contents="Woman Up" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://womanupmujer.blogspot.com/2020/05/el-dia-de-las-mothers.html?spref=fb&fbclid=IwAR3pG68yYo31jNGeuuXFelaw9D9jJrW6Lf1B4sHvOsEj9S1Urdh0TrWe-bQ" target="_blank">Woman Up</a>.</strong></p>
<p>Audre Lorde put into words the truth we all face today: without community there is no liberation. Funny how that belief plays out in our lives in times of Covid 19. Beyond the face masks, the physical distancing, and the sense of isolation, there is also the question of understanding who we are and what we believe in. </p>
<p>As I stand in all my intersections, as a mother and as a daughter, as an individual and a member of a wider community, as a professional and a parent, as a bisexual and bi-cultural woman, as a Colombian and American, I know that I am not divided or lost in the crossroads, but instead, I am merged, unified and changed into something new. Something different from other people and also, something different from what I was before. </p>
<p>I do not know who I am yet, I mean, this new version of me that is adapting to living in a world turned upside down. My intuition tells me that my beliefs and perseverance will guide me through the hardest parts; thankfully, long before corona appeared in our lives, issues such as equality, social justice and solidarity had become ever abundant sources of meaning for me. </p>
<p>More than ever, I am full of admiration for so many women who are fighting to keep their loved ones, families and community safe; making sacrifices, fighting bravely with empathy, intelligence and strength. Perhaps, as said by Samantha Powers, former US Ambassador to the UN, this won’t end for anyone, until it ends for everyone. But the challenge will be in coming together. Even as we are painfully reminded of what sets us apart from each other, from who we were before this all started. </p>
<p>In the meantime, and to keep us sane, there is the now, the day to day. This evening, I was fortunate to be able to embrace the people I love the most as we prayed and saw how the first star came out. As we started the new week, I felt thankful for the safety of my loved ones. At the same time, I thought of families and individuals, that I do not know, who are suffering hardship. I thought of my own sense of fear of the unknown. </p>
<p>Slowly and silently, as we put out the last candle, I realized that gratitude would be the only way to fully treasure each moment. The only way to guide me through. Tonight, life was a fragile, immense, bittersweet and interconnected miracle that still tasted like waffles with blueberries and honey made by my daughters on Mother’s Day. </p>
<p><strong><em>Maria Melo, Los Angeles, CA, May 16th, 2020 <img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/f010cd515d31bbd85eb3172cd530ce32adeae709/original/maria-blog.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></em></strong></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/62891482020-04-21T08:37:23-07:002020-08-06T03:38:31-07:00Mark and Ele's Views: Isolation Could Trigger Ideas of Suicide in LGBTQ+ Youth<p><span class="font_large"><strong>Be mindful — LGBTQ youth may be more despondent, suicidal during COVID-19 crisis | Opinion</strong></span></p>
<p><strong><a contents="As written by&nbsp;Mark&nbsp;Ketcham and&nbsp;Ele&nbsp;Naranjo&nbsp;for the Miami Herald on April 20th, 2020" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/op-ed/article242096571.html" target="_blank">As written by Mark Ketcham and Ele Naranjo for the Miami Herald on April 20th, 2020</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>More than half a million LGBTQ youth will attempt suicide this year. At <a contents="SunServe" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.sunserve.org/" target="_blank">SunServe</a>, where we provide critical life assistance and professional mental-health services to marginalized youth in South Florida, we have seen the pain and trauma that these youth go through. </p>
<p>Now faced with the coronavirus crisis, the necessary practices of sheltering in place and self-quarantining only increase issues of loneliness, isolation and fear. The Trevor Project reports that requests from LGBTQ youth for their 24/7 crisis services have spiked to double their normal volume during this crisis. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/55f2cc9ea83e4bff30b08b39e68c14fe893f2fb5/original/ream-feature.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />The Federal Communications Commission recently announced that it is going to establish a three-number suicide hot line — #988 — to provide more direct access to help to those in critical need. According to a December 2019 Associated Press report, a law passed last year required the FCC to study assigning a three-digit number for suicide prevention. The report showed overwhelming support for the initiative.</p>
<p>Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, suicide rates had dramatically increased across the United States — by more than 30 percent in half of the country during the past two decades. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “There were 45,000 suicide deaths in 2016, the latest year for which national figures were available.”</p>
<p>The CDC reports that from 1999 to 2016, suicide increased in almost every state and that, “Suicide rates are higher with at-risk populations, including the LGBTQ community.” </p>
<p>In Florida, suicide is the third-leading cause of death for those ages 15 to 34 and the second-leading cause of death for those age 25 to 34. It is nothing short of criminal to let this stand. </p>
<p>At SunServe, we’ve seen the despair so many LGBTQ youth experience as they advance through adolescence toward adulthood. We believe that a community and a society have the capacity to turn this tragic reality around. </p>
<p>In Florida, we can do better. </p>
<p>Beyond a hot line, there is a critical additional path by which we can and must ameliorate the stress that leads to suicidal ideation — particularly in our LGBTQ youth. We must strike at the core foundations of stigma. Let’s make sure these young people know that they deserve and will receive the full and equal protection under the law as every other citizen. </p>
<p>At this moment, while we are confronted with the severity of a life-threatening epidemic, other important issues are necessarily overshadowed. But as part of our response to this pandemic, we need also to consider enacting anti-discrimination laws that would help put an end to discrimination against LGBTQ people. Let us protect all of our citizens and make such discrimination a federal offense through enduring and enforced federal protections. </p>
<p>Let’s send the message to youth that discrimination not only is morally wrong, it is illegal and will not be tolerated. Let’s make sure they know that they are precious and we value them equally with all others. If we clearly convey this message, LGBTQ youth can be freed to lead less stressful and more productive lives. </p>
<p>We need to enact anti-discrimination laws and put an end to discrimination against LGBTQ people in the workplace, in housing, in public accommodation, and in health and human services. Let’s make ending discrimination a state and federal mandate through enduring and enforced legal protections. </p>
<p>Studies repeatedly have shown that when anti-discrimination laws, such as sanctioning equality in marriage, are enacted, the despondency among LGBTQ youth that can lead to suicide, declines significantly. </p>
<p>Providing immediate hot line support to those in crisis is important and a critical act of humanity. Enacting laws that de-legitimize discrimination will eliminate fundamental causes of pain and extend the full breadth of dignity and respect to all people.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>###</em></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>Mark Ketchum is executive director and Ele Naranjo is director of clinical services for SunServe, which provides critical life assistance and professional mental health services with an emphasis on economically disadvantaged, marginalized youth, adults and seniors in South Florida.</em></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/76e1d17258fe555f7a1626e56428ed28326c8aa4/original/mark-ketcham.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/46800a79631853bd61d8d25fa1c743a69c5437d6/original/ele-naranjo.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/62873872020-04-19T14:59:06-07:002020-08-08T01:32:11-07:00Glenn's View: Census 2020 is complicated for the LGBTQ Community, but it counts<p><em><strong>By Glenn D. Magpantay, Executive Director </strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong>National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance (<a contents="NQAPIA" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.nqapia.org/wpp/" target="_blank">NQAPIA</a>) </strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/fd6850e1bcc0702f32ec06de5600ecad9828f286/original/gm.jpeg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpeg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></strong></em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>By now, everyone should have received a mailing from the U.S. Census Bureau to get counted. I have complicated feelings about the census. </p>
<p>While the census is critically important to ensure a fair allocation of <a contents="funding for services" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://gwipp.gwu.edu/counting-dollars-2020-role-decennial-census-geographic-distribution-federal-funds" target="_blank">funding for services</a> and political representation, it will not deliver the full acceptance and freedom of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community. After all, it’s a government survey. It will not capture the breadth of human experience in America today. So why are my feelings about it “ complicated? </p>
<p><strong>It’s About Me and Who I Am</strong> </p>
<p>Some aspects of my identity are reflected in the census. I’m gay. There is no census question asking about sexual orientation. Yet, the relationship question counts same-sex married spouses and unmarried partners. While being a same-sex couple is a poor proxy for sexual orientation, </p>
<p>the 2010 census uncovered over 700,000 same-sex couples in the U.S. </p>
<p>I’m a dad of an adopted African American child. Many LGBTQ people build families through adoption. The census counts transracial families. In fact, every year census data is used to allocate $8 Billion for foster care and adoption assistance that can help queers start families. </p>
<p><strong>But It Doesn’t Reflect My Community </strong></p>
<p>At the same time, my community is erased. Trans and gender non-conforming people must respond to a binary sex question. They must choose between their sex assigned at birth or how they identity today. The census asks about biology, not identity, and today while Facebook has over 52 genders, the U.S. government only has 2. It sucks. </p>
<p>Even India, Nepal, Pakistan, and Washington and Oregon states recognize a third gender. I and my organization, the National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance (NQAPIA) <a contents="have urged " data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sq_So3an2Cm3etEDoJPjh8PfzmFI7WBg6NYqG1HnyIY/edit" target="_blank">have urged </a>the Census Bureau to recognize all of our community. </p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/8ede2bd6aba7a49566a0a1ef37681cf8aade75cf/original/queer-census-1.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_right border_" />It’s Critically Important </strong></p>
<p>In the midst of the CO-VID 19 pandemic, health care is especially critical. The census is used to allocate $311 Billion in medical assistance annually, according to the George Washington University Institute for Public Policy. More resources flow to where there is greater need based on the relative size of the population. </p>
<p>I <a contents="teach a class" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/aasp" target="_blank">teach a class</a> on Asian American Queerness at Hunter College CUNY. So many of my students benefit from the $29 Billion in financial aid (Pell Grants) for college every year. </p>
<p>I came out in the 1980s, at the height of the AIDS crisis. When I was in ACT UP, I fought hard to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS. The census continues to be used to allocate $645 Million in HIV funding. </p>
<p>I could go on and recount the importance of an accurate census: </p>
<p>· $457 Million for community mental health services </p>
<p>· $133 Million for domestic violence prevention programs that guard against same-sex intimate partner violence </p>
<p>· $48 Million for community arts programs and for queer and trans artists </p>
<p>· $4.7 Million to prevent abuse, neglect, and exploitation of elders </p>
<p>The more people who respond to the Census, the more likely <a contents="resources" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://gwipp.gwu.edu/counting-dollars-2020-role-decennial-census-geographic-distribution-federal-funds" target="_blank">resources</a> will flow to under-resourced communities. </p>
<p><strong>It’s About Political Power and Influence </strong></p>
<p>But for me the most importance aspect of the census is the political influence that the data drives. The census can be a check on the outsized political influence that some intolerant states command when apportioning congressional seats among the states based on population. </p>
<p>Census data is also used to redraw Congressional, State Legislative and City Council district boundaries to make them equal in population. Sure, some districts can be gerrymandered. But voting rights advocates can also use the data to draw districts that give communities of color, and those who have be traditionally underrepresented, a voice in the halls of power. </p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/711fc15855d5f8068fb0b7d917cf4db608371fab/original/queer-census-3.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" />It’s Mandatory and Ensuring Safety </strong></p>
<p>The census is required by law. People can be fined $100 for not responding. Federal law also ensures that personal information is private and may not be shared with the immigration service, IRS, or law enforcement. </p>
<p>I am a lawyer. I <a contents="reviewed the law" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uFAwNL8I3eUYu9fFXZgmrjO2sysUDd1T/view" target="_blank">reviewed the law</a> and was delighted to find that the confidentiality protections have been upheld and strengthened by the courts. Yet, even in light of the strict penalties for those who violate the protections, I am still concerned. </p>
<p>NQAPIA is monitoring the census to keep our community safe. We have lawyers ready to sue if there are breaches and who are available to answer questions. You can <a contents="report problems" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfpSRPlCksMHCut07ft0bUVvxgCXf0z4gC1QrSrLTGfZEK3eg/viewform" target="_blank">report problems</a> to us <a contents="here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfpSRPlCksMHCut07ft0bUVvxgCXf0z4gC1QrSrLTGfZEK3eg/viewform" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p>The way I see it, getting LGBTQ people to participate in the census is ultimately about harm reduction. The data collected is inherently under-represents the multiplicity of our identities. It can feel reductive and often dehumanizing, but it is necessary because of the very real implications towards how the government will allocate resources and representation. The census holds a lasting impact. To be missed is to be gone for the next ten years. </p>
<p><span class="font_regular"><strong>Lets be counted. </strong></span></p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>Glenn D. Magpantay is a long-time civil rights lawyer who led community education and advocacy efforts for Census 2000 and 2010. He is Executive Director of the National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance (NQAPIA) - a federation of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) Asian American, South Asian, Southeast Asian, and Pacific Islander organizations.</p>
<p>As told to Roberta Sklar Communications Consultant 917-704-6358 robertasklar@yahoo.com</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/60741862020-01-09T12:40:42-07:002020-01-31T12:01:28-07:00Janna's Story: A Mother Raising Her Transgender Son<p>Janna Masia Barkin is the proud mother of a transgender son. She is also a published author, a professional speaker, a coach and counselor for transgender families and individuals, and a passionate advocate for transgender youth rights. Janna's book, "<a contents="He's Always Been My Son" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.hesalwaysbeenmyson.com/about" target="_blank">He's Always Been My Son</a>" is an uplifting and supportive memoir of her journey raising a transgender son from birth through to adulthood. After checking out her website and learning about her work at one of ActionLink's partner community centers - the <a contents="Spahr Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://thespahrcenter.org/" target="_blank">Spahr Center</a> in Corte Madera, California - I took a few minutes to ask Janna about her advocacy journey. Here's what she had to say.</p>
<p><em><strong>Your website introduces you as a proud mother of a transgender son, author, coach, and passionate advocate for transgender youth rights. Prior to your son coming out as transgender, were you involved with advocating for LGBTQ rights? </strong></em></p>
<p><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.hesalwaysbeenmyson.com/" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/889351c8ae6cc07fa013d76cdb7c5ed3d0f707ed/original/janna-1.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></a>I am a very proud mother to three children, my youngest is trans. My understanding and acceptance developed over a long period of time and followed closely with my child's understanding and acceptance of himself. It was only after my son came out that I became active in advocating for transgender youth and their families. I often say that my son took me the places I needed to go. Had our story been different I am sure my life would have taken a different path.</p>
<p>When I first started looking for information and support to help me understand my child, I was lucky to find some great resources. But at the time there were only a scant few voices and websites that were able to provide information and perspective about parenting a transgender child. (Actually, I am not sure the word “blog” even existed when I began exploring this subject almost 15 years ago.) Now there are so many great resources available on the Internet and elsewhere. Sadly, there is also a lot of misinformation, fear, hate, and ignorance. </p>
<p>I am do my work to share and spread information, love, acceptance, and empathy. Every child deserves to be loved and supported unconditionally. Being transgender is just one more beautiful normal variation of being human.</p>
<p><em><strong>Once you decided to become an advocate, you went all in. What has been the most challenging part of doing this type of advocacy work? </strong></em></p>
<p>The most challenging part of doing this type of work is hearing from those who do not have the support of their loved ones. Too many times I have been approached at conferences, or book talks, or speaking engagements, by someone already in tears who tells me about the family rejection they have suffered and how it has hurt them. Family rejection can have very tragic consequences. Though very difficult, it is the reason why I do this work. </p>
<p>As my son wrote in my book He’s Always Been My Son- a mother’s story about raising her transgender son: When transgender individuals finally feel like they are able to express their authentic selves and entrust their parents with this information, it’s hard for me to fathom that the parents would be mad, or disappointed, or have feelings of resentment towards their child. The sad truth, however, is that this happens too often.</p>
<p><em><strong>In an excerpt from your writings, you said that around the age of three, you noticed a shift in Amaya’s clothing preferences, and that he no longer wanted to wear typical girl clothing. Was this the first sign for you that Amaya might be struggling with his identity? </strong></em></p>
<p>I am not sure it’s accurate to say that Amaya was “struggling” with his identity at that time. I think he had a natural inner knowing that was different than what his body told us when he was born. He just did what felt right to him and we went along with him. But his “natural” lined up with what our society sees as male, despite the fact that he was assigned female at birth. His struggle did not come up til later. When he was younger, he did struggle to feel comfortable in his clothes. We thought he was just being sensitive. And at that time he did prefer clothing that was available in the “boys” section. As long as we allowed him to wear what he wanted to wear there was no struggle. The real struggle came later, maybe around 8, when he became more aware of the messages he was receiving from the outside world and he was not able to be seen and accepted for how he saw himself. </p>
<p><em><strong><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.hesalwaysbeenmyson.com/" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/a31de0f3d1c69fb1be113bbc751cc1fba7558a54/original/janna-2.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.png" class="size_s justify_right border_" /></a>When Amaya was 15, you stated that your family found a trained, supportive therapist for him. Can you talk about the importance of having a support system for children who are grappling with self-identity and transition issues? </strong></em></p>
<p>I have come to understand that it is not simply one’s gender identity, be it transgender, non-binary, or another identity, that determines if they will need a therapist. Rather, it is the challenges they face in today’s world and the negative messages they receive about being transgender or non-binary that causes people to need/seek outside support. We know that without family support trans youth are at very high risk for suicide, depression, anxiety, self-harm. We also know that having the support of just one important person in their life greatly reduces their risk to be closer to their cisgender peers. </p>
<p>If the child does show signs of struggling then it is crucial that they have the outside support they need to develop an understanding of what they are going through and to develop their resilience to be able to cope in a world that is not always safe or supportive toward trans people. A skilled therapist and a peer to peer support group can both be invaluable. </p>
<p>I believe it is as important, if not more important, for the parents/caregivers to seek trained support so that they can develop understanding and empathy with regards to gender diversity. I also recommend that parents/family members seek a peer support group. I can’t emphasize this enough. It can be crucial for family to be able to speak to others who are experiencing something similar. Support can also be found at conferences focused on gender such as Gender Spectrum and Gender Diversity. When parents find the support they need they empower themselves to be of best support to their child.</p>
<p>If the child does show signs of struggling then it is crucial that they have the support they need to develop an understanding of what they are going through and to develop their resilience to be able to cope in a world that is not always safe or supportive toward trans people. Again, a peer to peer support group can be invaluable. </p>
<p>When I first started learning about what it means to be transgender it was reported that only 5-10% of people could say they knew a someone who is transgender. Now that number is reported at 20%. This is good news as it has also been shown that acceptance increases with familiarity. </p>
<p>We must start educating people about gender identity early on. With more understanding, empathy, and acceptance the need for additional support will diminish.</p>
<p><em><strong>You do amazing work at the Spahr Center. When did you find them and what made you want to become a parent support group advisor there? </strong></em></p>
<p>The Spahr Center came into being as a result of a merger that included Marin Aids Project – serving those living with HIV/AIDS, and Spectrum – serving the LGBTQ community. I had heard of Spectrum as early as 2012, Amaya attended a support group there for LGBTQ teens that was run by his therapist. I believe the two previously mentioned orgs merged in 2015. </p>
<p>In 2015, as our son was settling into his life as his authentic self I felt drawn to help others. There was not any type of support group being offered for parents in Marin County at that time. I reached out to Spectrum which had become Sphar, to see if they had space I could use to start a parent support group. I enlisted Cammie Duval to facilitate with me. She was and still sees Spahr clients as a therapist, and was facilitating the youth support group at that time. </p>
<p>The group is still going strong 4 years later. With an average attendance of 10-15 people each monthly meeting we added another meeting to make it two meetings per month for parents/caregivers of transgender, gender non-conforming, non-binary, gender questioning youth. </p>
<p>When Dana Van Gorder came on as Executive Director he offered me a paid position to continue on as Parent Group Advisor and to help grow our parents and families support offerings.</p>
<p><strong>To learn more about Janna's work and purchase her book, "He's Always Been My Son", visit her website: <a contents="www.hesalwaysbeenmyson.com." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.hesalwaysbeenmyson.com/" target="_blank">www.hesalwaysbeenmyson.com.</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/60568082020-01-02T15:29:00-07:002021-04-21T10:13:33-07:00Dustin's Story: "His Presence Brightened All Of Our Lives"<p><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/donate/469182337330907/" style="" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/c274100146248d77167a0359edcac108b26218aa/original/dustin-2.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></a>Dustin Parker, a 25-year-old transgender man, was fatally shot on the job while driving for Rover Taxi in McAlester, Oklahoma early on New Year’s Day. Parker is the first violent death of a transgender or gender non-conforming person in 2020. The Human Rights Campaign states that of the more than 150 known victims of anti-transgender violence from 2013 to present, approximately two-thirds of those killed were victims of gun violence.</p>
<p>"Rover Taxi is devastated at the loss of a member of our Rover family,” said Parker’s employer in a statement. “His bright, young life was taken far too early. Please keep his loved ones in your thoughts as we all try to pull together to get through these difficult times. Dustin will be missed, but never forgotten.” Rover Taxi is offering a monetary reward for anyone offering information leading to the arrest of Dustin's killer.</p>
<p><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/donate/469182337330907/" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/6cc152f6de98f4cb89fa4e89ac0b0b6b9ca00f01/original/toby-1.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" /></a>Parker was a founding member of Oklahomans for Equality McAlester chapter and a supporter of LGBTQ equality. Today the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma lowered its flag to half staff in Dustin's memory.</p>
<p>"Dustin was an amazing and special person," said his wife Regina. "I have always known how special he was, but I had no idea of all the lives that he touched. I want everyone to know how incredibly thankful I am for the support from not only our family and friends, but also the community as a whole."</p>
<p>Close friend Brian West said, "Dustin was a steadfast friend, an amazing husband and father, and generous to a fault. He loved fiercely, worked tirelessly, and took on life with so much hope and enthusiasm that his presence brightened all of our lives. His bright, young life was taken far too early." Dustin leaves behind his wife Regina and four children. <a contents="Rover Taxi has created a fundraiser for the Parker family." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/donate/469182337330907/170947100932020/" style="" target="_blank">West has created a fundraiser for the Parker family.</a></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/59414642019-10-28T11:45:20-07:002020-11-16T14:27:15-07:00Wyatt's Story: I Survived Conversion Therapy<h2><strong>A Message Of Hope</strong></h2>
<p>I will always remember the date. It was October 8th, 2008 and I remember my parents waking me up, telling me that they loved me, and that I was going to a boarding school. Being a 16 year old who watched "Zoey 101", I was so excited to wake up to this news! I immediately thought of a beautiful campus by a beach...just like in the show. Almost immediately though, I realized that something was off. As the haze of waking up was wearing off, I realized there were two guys in the room with my parents. They were there to escort me to the boarding school in Utah. My bags were already packed. I was given one last hug from my mother and put into a car. When I saw the car resembled a police vehicle, I realized this was not the kind of school I was hoping to attend. It had a metal mesh blockade in between the front and the back seat of the car. But I was an optimist at that time, and I thought that maybe this was just a random circumstance. So I went with the men like I was told. A few hours later, I landed in Las Vegas and was driven two and a half hours to a town called Kanab, Utah; where a school called Abundant Life Academy existed. </p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/e8d114b28a434fcd0bf32c40a87b968ed973c43f/original/wyatt-1.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />I wanted to leave. I didn’t want to be there.</strong> <strong>This was not the type of school I imagined</strong>. There were bars on all the windows and locks on all the doors. Everyone was wearing the same clothing. The building felt like a run down hospital. Later I found out that it WAS the former town hospital. I was enrolled in a Teen Reform School. It was designed for kids who were in gangs or making terrible life choices. Parents sent their kids here in a final effort to “save them”. The goal of the school was to return you to the “wonderful child” that you used to be. The one that your parents wanted you to be. They didn’t care who I wanted to be at all. The school itself was not conversion therapy based. But I was a special case. <em>The founder of the school decided that he was going to start practicing conversion therapy on me as a test to see if God would give him the power to convert me to be what he considered a normal person. </em></p>
<p>He spent hours with me every week. He would show me pictures of AIDS patients from the 80’s and tell me over and over again that this was going to be me in a few years if I kept choosing to be gay. He would show me photos of old men in diapers saying that I would be in the exact same position within two years of practicing gay sex. He continued telling me over and over again that I would die of AIDS, with no ability to control my bodily movements, alone with no friends or family at my deathbed. He said that I would most likely have a drug problem as well. <strong>I started to believe him.</strong> He did these therapy sessions with me for months. Being a teenager, I was highly susceptible to the influence of others. Still, I couldn't "get rid of the gay". When I would get caught playing around with other guys in the academy, I was punished by being kept on the cold hard floor in the hallway. Sleep deprived, the school's founder would continue his sessions with me. He made me believe that if I was gay, then I was a stain on the earth and that I would die alone before the age of 30. I tried to escape the school, and I failed. I tried to play by their rules, and I failed. The program was supposed to last nine months, but I was held for an extra three months as punishment for not being able to "go straight".</p>
<p>I still deal with the trauma that I experienced during that year. I want to say that I was able to muster up the strength to get through life easily after I was released, but that is not my story. The way I coped with what I went through turned me into exactly what I was told I would become. I ended up drinking myself to sleep most nights for nearly five years. If I wasn’t drinking, I was snorting blow or smoking meth. It was the only way I could quiet all of the screaming thoughts in my mind: I was an abomination, I was a cancer on this earth, I was a sinner in the eyes of God, I was doomed to live and die alone. At the age of 21, I entered rehab at Bridge House in New Orleans, LA. There, I found out that I was HIV positive. I spent the next three months having 3-5 therapy sessions each day. My therapists and counselors were not religion-based, and just wanted to ensure that I lived the best life possible. Bridge House saved my life by undoing the beliefs that were instilled into me by the Abundant Life Academy. Becoming HIV positive gave me the strength and desire to stay sober. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/4019af618bc8a5d0a1c3515ad7837b8bb90e2ce4/original/wyatt-2.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" />Today, I am a very different person. But I still experience a lot of symptoms from the trauma that I endured. I have a daily routine to remind myself that I am worthy of being alive. I also remind myself that the beliefs of the Abundant Life Academy were just the beliefs of one man. They weren't a reflection of myself, or a true picture of who I was then and who I have become. Today, I live an incredible life in the city of Los Angeles. I have experienced different types of relationships, kinks, and walks of life. I work as an Executive Assistant for a gay travel company and I couldn’t be happier with what I do and the people that I work with. I also find ways to use my experiences and trauma to help others. I have talked openly about it, blogged about it, and spoken to members of Congress about the dangers of conversion therapy. <strong>I have learned that there is power in sharing my story</strong>. As painful as reliving that time can be, I hope that my speaking up will help to put an end to all conversion therapies and teen reform schools. </p>
<p>I want to end my story by speaking to LGBTQ people's family members who may be thinking about sending their loved one to a place like the Abundant Life Academy. <em><strong>If you truly love your child, let them be the person that they were destined to be</strong></em>. If you don't accept them, chances are you'll destroy the possibility of a future relationship with them. You will have sentenced your loved one to a life of extreme hurt and trauma because you - the person that they trusted most - pushed them into a personal hell.</p>
<p>LGBTQ people don’t need to be fixed. We need you to love us as we are, and to encourage us to be our true, authentic selves.</p>
<p><em><strong>--Wyatt--</strong></em></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/59109722019-09-30T18:32:03-07:002021-04-21T10:12:29-07:00Jennifer's Story: Same-Sex Partner Domestic Violence<p><strong><span class="font_large">Intimate Partner Violence - From “Protector” to “Unprotected" </span></strong></p>
<p>It was 2010… a frigid day in mid-January. After a long shift, I finally reached my driveway. As I pull in I see “her” car, a purple Monte Carlo. When I say “her” car; I am speaking of a woman by the name of Maureen (not her real name). A woman whom I loved and had a prior intimate relationship with. Everyone I knew, knew her as a part of me. </p>
<p>She stepped out of her Monte Carlo and stood in the driveway next to my opened car door. Her voice persistent as she demanded the answers to what had become of our demise. </p>
<p>Maureen and I had dated on and off for many years and at one point we lived together, but at this particular point…. it was already a relationship that I had tried to end for years. </p>
<p>Her voice getting louder “Tell me…. well? What was it.. LISTEN to me!” </p>
<p> Still talking she followed me inside. Standing in the kitchen I recall saying “Just leave! I have nothing more to say.” I walked away. Seconds later, my hearing went out. Everything seemed slow and there was blood. </p>
<p> A lot of blood. </p>
<p>Red painted the sleeve of my white sweatshirt, and coated my hands…My arm suspended, paralyzed, unable to move. </p>
<p>I had been shot.</p>
<p>I don’t remember the bullet piercing through my skin. I just remember the amplification of silence, a temporary deafness; the taste of gun powder particles in my mouth. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/0b54a157ba657ac5142c3298df333691127e1cd2/original/img-3861.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_right border_" />Image is powerful. But as much as it is powerful, it can also be superficial… Many see the silver badge pinned to my chest, pressed and pleated polyesters and my duty weapon at my side. A layer beneath, a physique of muscularity and tattoos… I looked nothing like a “victim” and maybe that was why I wasn’t perceived as one.</p>
<p>Women can be violent and can be victimized by women. We know this, but we often don’t believe it. We are bound by social stigmas regarding men as aggressors, men overpowering women and that victims are vulnerable, weak and fragile. I’ve been a cop for 18 years, and I see how cops deal with same-sex violence. Two men, “Well, that’s just a battery” break them up and send them on their ways. Two women, “That’s just a cat fight”. Those are the assumptions made, I see it all the time. We minimize accountability, hostility and we minimize intentional criminal behaviors because of the stigma that women are viewed as the softer gentler gender. I was shot by the hand of a woman, this was clearly aggressive domestic violence. Whether we look strong or we look weak should have no bearing on our likelihood or ability to be or be viewed as offenders or as victims. </p>
<p>Within months of meeting we were inseparable, there was a certain need to need each other. She was much older than I was, and there was a mysteriousness in her eyes that I hadn’t seen before and it drew me in. I knew from the beginning something in my veins told me to question the beginning of “us”. But I had ignored it. I found myself reciting her better qualities in a mere manner of self-convincement. She was successful, independent and was the kind of woman that could start and put out her own fires! I was drawn to her. </p>
<p>After living together for several months, I saw a different side, or better yet the only side. Her “Friday night side”. I didn’t always see her drinking, but the smell of alcohol on her breath, and on her lips seemed incessant. I would find half drunk or empty vodka bottles in her glove box, under the back wooden porch, and hidden in dog food bags. I don’t know if she hid those bottles or just drank so much that she had forgotten where she left them. </p>
<p>I didn’t consider Maureen a very violent person, certainly not the type of person who would shoot someone. But maybe just being a cop and with my exposure to personal and professional trauma and violence my threshold was just that low, and my boundaries just that skewed. </p>
<p>After being shot, I underwent extensive surgery for an injury medically termed as Brachial Plexus. Brachial Plexus Neuropathy (BPN), refers to damage to a single nerve or a set of nerves, specifically where nerves from the spinal cord branch into the arm nerves. What the doctors waited to tell me was the damage to my nervous system would be permanent; and due to the inability to fully use my right arm or hand to I likely could never be a cop or body build again. </p>
<p>By the time I got home from the hospital most of the blood had been cleaned up in the kitchen, but my eyes like mini-blacklights seem to find its trace. In between the crevices of the hardwood flooring, in the decorative patterns of the cabinet knobs, resting in the scratches of the stainless-steel sink and imbedded in the porous granite stone countertops. Blood was all around me and if any of you have ever been exposed to large amounts of blood, well…you can smell it. Trying to put the pieces together, I stared into the stainless-steel fridge where the Glock .357 left its mark. The big hole, right there in plain view. There was no wiping that off. </p>
<p>I didn’t hear from my agency. No phone calls, No get well cards, Nothing. It was like nothing happened but it wasn’t long before the incident hit the paper and the local media read “Lesbian Cop shot by her Lover”, and “Lesbian Love Triangle ends with Cop Shot “. I cant begin to tell you how messed up the incident had sounded when the media got a hold of it. Was I embarrassed? Absolutely. Could I see why my chief would be embarrassed? Absolutely. Why was the word lesbian used to target an audience? If I was straight woman would the media say “Straight woman cop shot by her boyfriend”? No, because it would have been assumed, instead the word lesbian was used to exploit my sexuality and make the seriousness of the shooting sound like a circus act. </p>
<p>I didn’t understand why the shooting wasn’t addressed initially. A transparency. Instead, an internal investigation ensued into allegations against me for “not living an exemplary lifestyle” and “bringing ill-repute” to the police department. I was in excruciating pain, a victim of domestic violence, yet I was being accused of this….Why? I didn’t want to believe that she could get away with shooting me, or that society didn’t view this as serious as a heterosexual act of domestic violence. But it appeared so. </p>
<p>While further reviewing police reports I learned she admitted to loading the gun while standing in my driveway, then shoving it in her waist band while waiting for me to get home. She told officers she knew I wouldn’t want to talk to her and then told 3 inconsistent stories as to how the gun went off. “She was showing me how to clean and take apart my gun”, “I was just trying to scare her,” “She shot herself on accident”. </p>
<p>The investigating officers and the SAO did not view the crime as domestic violence as there was no proof of a relationship. They also said they could not prove she had the ‘intent to commit a crime” therefore it must have been an accident. They blew it off entirely. How was it our criminal justice system completely disregarded such violence. Was it because she was a woman? Because we were both women? Or maybe because she didn’t look “masculine or butch enough?” Or because she didn’t have a criminal history, because she was a middle aged white woman with a professional career; or maybe it was because I didn’t look like a feminine, vulnerable, victim. After all I was a cop and I guess that alone makes me unable to be victimized. </p>
<p>There was no direct emulation or imitation of a heterosexual relationship, therefore they couldn’t visualize what this violence was. This contributed to lessening Maureen’s criminality and allowing my victimology to become almost non-existent. </p>
<p>The final decision by the court was a charge of Reckless Discharge of a Firearm, which would be the same offense as if I were cleaning my gun and it accidentally went off. Had it been viewed as domestic in nature, it would have increased these charges and the severity of the crime dramatically. The complaint as it was prepared, never indicated that I was shot or injured, it merely notes “a weapon was discharged in a dwelling where people are expected to be present”. This lack of justice was absolutely sickening, and devastating. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/8444b35a40bb9cadac62a9cc154b564f268fbad8/original/img-3441.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" />I filed a grievance and won, and was cleared from the internal investigation and placed on administrative leave pending medical discharge to full duty. I taught myself to use my left arm defensively and tactic- fully. I forced myself to keep shooting, sometimes with tears of anger in my eyes as I numbed myself to that familiar sound of the firing pin. </p>
<p>Almost 6 months later, against all odds, I was medically released from my doctor and their doctor to return to full duty. I remember receiving that doctors note saying, “Cleared for Duty”. I was so proud of myself, but my employer rejected it. They claimed there was no way I could still physically do the job. I had to see specialist after specialist, fighting their resistance to return and fighting for my career, something that was going so well and then stolen from me twice, once by her and then by them.</p>
<p>Often I would stare into the hole of my wound, and the blackened stippling of burnt skin and search for these answers. </p>
<p>I rebuilt my career and I eventually left that police agency and transferred to another. </p>
<p>Now almost 10 years later, when I step into that range for monthly qualifications, It is with instinct that I rely on my non-dominant side, and the smell of burnt cordite and that rapid displacement of air reminds me how close I could have come. </p>
<p>Research shows that intimate partner violence is occurring at about the same rate in heterosexual relationships then in same-sex relationships yet dual arrests in same-sex relationships are shown to between 10-30x higher. What does that mean? It means that the police aren’t recognizing victims in the LGBTQ community and that needs to change! </p>
<p>Although I despised the lack of efforts from law enforcement, I didn’t give up on the efforts of our criminal justice system. Instead I came back stronger and with a mission to increase awareness and improve police recognition and response to IPV in same-sex relationships. Police officers need to be aware of the family dynamic differences in same-sex couples in order to identify intimate partner violence. It is only when the criminal justice system understands the victimology and marginalities of same-sex intimate partner violence can this cultural shift can begin. </p>
<p>Being fearless is being honest and so I am able to speak this truth from a unique perspective; a lens of “within” and “against” a criminal justice system. I speak through my scars...the ones I wear, and the ones I won’t forget. I still remind myself I am lucky.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/58047342019-06-26T09:37:50-07:002021-04-19T14:50:36-07:00Why Religious Leaders Oppose Changes to 1557<p>LGBTQ people are people whom God loves. They are people that Jesus the Christ died to save. I am a morally conservative Christian who recognizes that I live in a changing culture. It would be wrong to try to legislate my own moral standards. Even more to the point, people who have different beliefs than I do are human beings with every bit as many human rights as I do including rights to the same level of medical care. Any change in the Affordable Care Act that would negatively impact LGBTQ people is therefore unconstitutional and morally repugnant. Please immediately drop any and all efforts to amend Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act. <strong>-Timothy W., Wilmington VA</strong></p>
<hr><p>For 20 years I worked as an evangelical pastor preaching a message of love. I must confess that the love we demonstrated was not unconditional and was not a love that embraced the LGBTQ community or others that didn't embrace our particular kind of faith and morality. </p>
<p>My mind began to change while serving as the executive director of a large homeless shelter, where I was exposed to the most vulnerable people in our nation: those living on the streets with mental illness, physical illness and/or addiction. Many of these precious souls were members of the LGBTQ community, including teens who were kicked out of their homes by religiously motivated parents. It was so disturbing to watch and my mind and heart changed. </p>
<p>And then, four years ago, one of my children came out to me as being a member of the queer community. To think that in America she could be denied health care, housing and employment is unconscionable. We can and must do better. We cannot allow the small-mindedness of some people to negatively impact the healthcare available to the millions of Americans who are part of this community. <strong>-Chris Mullett, Bridgeport WV</strong></p>
<hr><p> </p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/57970942019-06-19T12:12:58-07:002020-08-12T06:08:39-07:00Why Health Care Professionals Oppose Changes to Section 1157<p>I have coworkers, close friends, relatives, patients, and a child that identifies with the LGBTQ community. I am a mother of a transgender person and as a pediatric pharmacist I take care of this population as well. This is a vulnerable group of people who need to have laws in place to keep them safe. <strong>-Karen Robison, Boise, ID</strong></p>
<hr><p>This is dangerous. I am a Family Nurse Practitioner and also adjunct faculty at a university. I am currently trying to teach my nursing students about healthcare disparities. We all have a role to play in recognizing our own biases and working to improve disparities in healthcare. These disparities are known to exist on the basis of race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, etc. based on quality scientific studies. </p>
<p>Changing this law will result in increased risks, poorer patient outcomes, and overall decreases in quality of and access to care. All of these factors will continue to increase healthcare costs as well, since economics, unfortunately, speaks louder than human beings to some policy-makers. This is a dangerous proposal. I encourage you to advocate AGAINST the proposed changes to section 1557 of the ACA. <strong>-Sarah H Sentz, Bozeman MT</strong> </p>
<hr><p>Article 25 of the United Nations' 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that "Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services." By implementing these changes access to health care may limit access for many people including women, older adults, people with disabilities, and the LGBTQ community. </p>
<p>As a physician, I firmly believe health care is a right for all and discrimination of any sort is antithetical to the American principles of life (which cannot be preserved without access to health care), liberty, and the pursuit of justice.<strong> -Susan Igdaloff, M.D., Newhall CA</strong> </p>
<hr><p><a contents="" data-link-label="Health Care Discrimination" data-link-type="page" href="/health-care-discrimination" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/16bed389a4cd360c3a23c8abe3689061324b55c0/original/a-transmasculine-doctor-with-his-computer-1.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></a>I am in strong opposition to the proposed changes to section 1557. Any law that removes protections or allows discrimination against any group, especially in the health care arena is not only wrong from a constitutional perspective but violates the Hippocratic oath that all physicians have sworn to uphold. </p>
<p>When will it stop? Is the next step allowing health care providers or insurance companies to discriminate how, or whom, they treat because they don't agree with a patient's religion, or the color of their skin, what language they speak, or what political party they belong to? These changes cannot, they must not be implemented. <strong>-Clinton R White, MD, Colorado Springs CO </strong></p>
<hr><p>The LGBT community is often misunderstood, mislabeled and mistreated based on another person's belief or lack of knowledge. As a nurse, I am aware of the lack of education provided to healthcare professionals related to LGBT community, especially transgender individuals. I have witnessed first hand medical treatment that was lacking in professionalism and respect. So, I have actively searched out educational seminars to enable me to better serve the LGBT community. I will not allow this change to affect my patients. I will provide treatment to everyone placed in my care with compassion, respect and a non-judgmental attitude. </p>
<p>I am also the parent of a transgender individual. I am aware that my son's life could be placed in jeopardy because of these proposed changes. I fear every day for my son's safety. Individuals, who are LGBT already postpone obtaining medical care out of fear of judgement. These changes to Section 1557 of the ACA would only make their situation worse. <strong> -Kelly Tome, Brunswick OH</strong> </p>
<hr><p>I work in a healthcare space with some of the vulnerable communities whom these changes threaten to negatively affect. The LGBTQ+ community already faces stigma, discrimination, and negative attention on a daily basis across the spectrum of their social experience, healthcare included. Every one of these experiences is a new barrier to self-care that must be overcome. We fight hard to help these communities feel welcomed and valued and show them that affirming care is available, but when their own government takes steps to undermine that value, it becomes that much harder to reach those communities. I vehemently oppose the proposal to rollback protections on 1557. <strong>-Evan Anderson, New Orleans LA </strong></p>
<hr><p><a contents="" data-link-label="Health Care Discrimination" data-link-type="page" href="/health-care-discrimination" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/a08bbc3fa888c2854abc9aed63563bb999fe0e9e/original/1557-graphic-2.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_right border_" /></a>As physician, I can attest to the fear and anxiety that LGBTQ patients, trans patients in particular, have when seeking healthcare. They are still targets of prejudice and stereotypes from some health care providers. LGBTQ patients definitely need protection on a legal basis, and Section 1557 currently provides that. Changing the regulations will mean the LGBTQ community is even more at risk of discrimination when seeking medical care. <strong> -Dr. Shane Du, Providence RI </strong></p>
<hr><p>I am an optometrist. Just like everyone else in the health care profession, I took an oath to provide treatment to everyone regardless of social class, race, or sexual orientation. I cannot imagine denying anyone healthcare. Everyone is entitled to quality health care. It is discriminatory to deny that care due to someone's sexual orientation. It is also illegal, and I cannot believe that in 2019 that we are still having this discussion. <strong>-Binae Karpo, Allentown PA</strong></p>
<hr><p>Equal rights does not mean no rights for some. The nondiscrimination law of the ACA prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age, or disability. In order to protect our most vulnerable populations, especially during troubling times such as when seeking health care, we must protect Section 1557 of the ACA. As a healthcare professional, my objective is to help people in need. It is never okay to discriminate - for any reason - and Section 1557 of the ACA provides the standard of this practice. <strong>-Amy R. Kweller, MS, RD, Austin TX</strong></p>
<hr><p>As a nurse my job is to treat everyone as an equal. Healthcare providers are not to discriminate against anyone regardless of sexual orientation, race, age, etc. If the president was to come into my ER, I'm sure he would want me to give him proper care instead refusing to treat him because of my feelings towards his policies. <strong>-Karen Jackson, RN, Tarzana CA</strong></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/57970902019-06-19T12:05:30-07:002020-02-05T12:53:57-07:00Why LGBTQ and Allied Organizations Oppose Changes to Section 1157<p><a contents="" data-link-label="Health Care Discrimination" data-link-type="page" href="/health-care-discrimination" style="" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/ef7076e60223b367f94e675eb1b645e189674953/original/mayor-weho.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></a>The City of West Hollywood strongly rejects the Trump administration’s proposed rule to amend Section 1557 of the Health Care Rights Law, a part of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) that, as currently written, offers protections to transgender people in healthcare settings. </p>
<p>The new interpretation of the nondiscrimination provision of Section 1557 of the ACA would essentially allow healthcare providers to discriminate based on gender identity and will directly affect the very communities the law is meant to protect including women, older adults, people with disabilities, and the LGBTQ community. These populations already face high levels of discrimination by health care providers. </p>
<p>Removing discrimination protections for transgender people is a dehumanizing decision that speaks volumes about the Trump administration’s lack of empathy for the LGBTQ community. The proposed rule runs counter to the City of West Hollywood’s core values of Respect and Support for People. <strong> -John D'Amico, Mayor of the City of West Hollywood CA </strong></p>
<hr><p>I represent PFLAG Los Angeles, a non-profit dedicated to providing support, education and advocacy for the LGBTQ community. Our parent organization is PFLAG National, based in Washington, D.C., with over 400 volunteer-based chapters in the United States. </p>
<p><a contents="" data-link-label="Health Care Discrimination" data-link-type="page" href="/health-care-discrimination" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/979be7f07df13295395b0fd1721d0f81e3ba7671/original/lalogo2014-600.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_right border_" /></a>PFLAG Los Angeles works collaboratively with over 30 LA-based LGBTQ youth-supportive organizations to provide mentoring, education, social events, housing and other critical services to local LGBTQ youth. We know from experience that they have higher rates of depression and suicide. They experience family rejection, discrimination and bullying at rates far exceeding that of non-LGBTQ youth. </p>
<p>The collection of LGBTQ data from foster youth and adoptive families is critical to help identify trends in types of placements, rate of disruptions and the number of foster placements within LGBTQ families that will translate into permanent adoptive placements, and the data will inform federal law, policy and funding determinations. Eliminating this national dataset will undermine the ability to track demographic trends and identify gaps in services and will place LGBTQ youth and prospective parents at continued risk of harassment and discrimination. </p>
<p>We strongly oppose the elimination of the collection of sexual orientation information for youth and adults, and we urge ACF and HHS to add gender identity data points for foster youth, parents, and guardians. Without the data in the 2016 AFCARS Final Rule there is no national data on LGBTQ foster youth or prospective parents to measure and improve outcomes for LGBTQ foster youth and families. We welcome the opportunity to work with ACF to assist the implementation of these important reforms. <strong>-Steve Krantz, PFLAG, Los Angeles </strong></p>
<hr><p><a contents="" data-link-label="Health Care Discrimination" data-link-type="page" href="/health-care-discrimination" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/419e2baed85d294e3ecc77c4ba128620a79d2a61/original/rc-full-color-logo-lr.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.png" class="size_s justify_right border_" /></a>Resource Center condemns the Department of Health and Human Services’ (HHS) revision of their non-discrimination rules to specifically exclude protections for gender identity in healthcare. The rule change represents another direct attack on the transgender community from the Trump Administration. It comes on the heels of three other rule changes at HHS and the Department of Housing and Urban Development designed to undermine legal protections for transgender Americans and open the door to discrimination. </p>
<p>Before this Obama-era non-discrimination rule was enacted, many transgender people could not get health insurance because simply being transgender made them a “pre-existing condition.” 28 states, including Texas, lack explicit legal protections for gender identity in public accommodation – this includes healthcare. Despite this, numerous cases have ruled that federal sex discrimination protections include gender identity. This rule change runs contrary to established law. </p>
<p>Resource Center calls on the Trump Administration to reverse this rule change and cease these attacks on transgender individuals. In the coming days, the Center will be offering ways to fight back and protect equal access to healthcare for transgender Americans. <strong>-Patrick Hanley, Advocacy & Policy, Resource Center, Dallas TX </strong></p>
<hr><p>As a straight, cisgender ally who has worked for LGBTQ equality for over fifteen years, I recognize how important it is for members of the community to have adequate health care. I'm co-chair of PFLAG Nashville and am South Atlantic Regional Director for PFLAG and interact with LGBTQ people and parents of LGBTQ children regularly. Many of my dear friends are LGBTQ. With such a high suicide rate among people who are LGBTQ, including young people, adequate health care from supportive providers is essential. Having affirming providers who are knowledgeable about LGBTQ needs can mean the difference in life and death. No one should be put in the position of ignoring their health because they're afraid they will be discriminated against or treated disrespectfully. No one should not get the care they need because their providers are not trained adequately in what the LGBTQ community's needs are. No one should be without insurance to assure they can afford proper care and medication. Everyone deserves the resources to thrive. <strong>-Kathy Halbrooks, South Atlantic Regional Director - PFLAG, Nashville TN</strong></p>
<hr><p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/6d076b485ea3a5c30870b5ea090ce79fd64aac04/original/logo-1x.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.png" class="size_s justify_left border_" />The Sacramento LGBT Community Center is committed to create a region where LGBTQ people thrive. The proposed changes would inhibit the LGBTQ community from accessing necessary medical care that is a right for all. The LGBTQ community, and transgender individuals specifically, experience higher rate of health disparities and healthcare related discrimination. This change would remove the crucial protections that support LGBTQ individuals in accessing that care in an affirming healthcare environment. <strong>-Rachel Henry, Sacramento LGBT Community Center</strong></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/57833022019-06-07T06:31:40-07:002021-04-19T14:49:26-07:00Why I Oppose Changes to Section 1557 of the Health Care Rights Law<p><a contents="" data-link-label="Health Care Discrimination" data-link-type="page" href="/health-care-discrimination" style="" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/37f8f1207f4017d75ad52a7853206320190fa8be/original/cos.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></a>The proposed changes to Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act will negatively affect the communities the law is meant to protect, including the LGBTQ community. I oppose this proposed rule because I was a recipient of gender-affirming surgery, thanks to the ACA and specifically Section 1557. It was a long, hard fight to be who I knew I was. To remove these protections is arbitrary, mean-spirited, and grotesque. LGBTQ citizens are citizens like everyone else. We deserve to know that in our time of need we won't be denied life-saving care. <strong>-Cosette Konrad, Holiday FL</strong></p>
<hr><p>I oppose the recent proposed regulation. LGBTQ patients – specifically transgender patients - would face even higher odds of being denied necessary and life-saving medical care.</p>
<p>First and foremost, I am a caring, compassionate person who wants to do what I can to help those in need and make the world a little better for future generations. I am an educator, and I treat every client with respect regardless of their background, religious identity, or political views. I am also transgender. </p>
<p>Prior to my gender transition, my mental and physical health were at an all-time low. Every day became a battle with myself, and I almost did not survive. I was able to medically transition with support from a team of doctors and therapists. I am fortunate to have been able to access this care. If there were regulations in place allowing discrimination of individuals like me, I may not be here today. </p>
<p>I strongly oppose the proposed regulation. Promoting discrimination is wrong, unnecessary, and puts millions of lives like mine at risk. <strong>-Ary, Long Beach CA</strong></p>
<hr><p>As an openly gay former REPUBLICAN elected official in Chatham Borough, NJ, the U.S. cannot and should not go backward. We must move forward. Members of the LGBTQ community are human beings equally deserving of proper health care. We're not seeking special rights; just equal rights.<strong> -Len Resto, Former Republican Council President-Chatham Borough, NJ </strong></p>
<hr><p>I was discriminated against in a medical setting twice. The first time was in 2007. I had just started transitioning and had shaved my entire body. I was rushed by ambulance to a hospital. I had five fractured ribs and a cracked disk in my spine. I remember feeling very self conscious, and was not surprised to overhear comments about my appearance. My assigned male nurse told the rest of the staff to keep their remarks to themselves, and that he'd better not hear another word. He then came into my room and apologized to me. He said, "I am so sorry, that's the last thing you should have to worry about right now." </p>
<p>The next time was in 2013. I knew something was very wrong and feared I may be having a heart attack but delayed going to the hospital. The emergency room nurse was clearly not comfortable taking care of me. When I gave him my list of current medications, he immediately blamed the heart attack on the Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) medication and my transitioning. In the end the HRT had nothing to do with my heart problem, but those comments placed seeds of doubt in the minds of some family members. I could have lost my life because of my apprehension to seek treatment. I worried about how embarrassing the situation could become for me and my family, and I stressed about how my family would deal with it all.</p>
<p>Fortunately, my spouse and I found a wonderful female doctor, and under her care I am treated the same as any other patient. Still, I only get medical care if absolutely needed. I have enough experience by now to know what to expect. I would like to be treated exactly the same as every other patient - no better no worse! <strong>-Olivia Ana Ackerman, Dallas TX</strong></p>
<hr><p>As a transgender man with a uterus, I still need gynecological care. I need testosterone prescriptions to continue to live my life. If this law were to be passed, my ability to access the services and medications I need would be in jeopardy. <strong>-Kit G., Jackson Heights NY</strong></p>
<hr><p>It is not right to discriminate against individuals because of their gender identity or sexual orientation. We are human beings and deserve to be treated equally. I am personally battling discrimination with my own medical insurer. They refuse to pay any bills that are related to my gender transition, including medications and blood work. It is an ongoing battle between me, them, and my team of medical professionals. No one should have to go through what I am. We deserve to receive the best medical care possible, no matter who we are or who we love. -<strong>Heather Moore, Garland TX</strong></p>
<hr><p>In health care, patients must always come first. This new proposal encourages health care providers to abandon the principle of “first, do no harm” in favor of their personal beliefs. This puts transgender patients, people who need reproductive health care, and many others at risk of being denied necessary and even life-saving care. LGBTQ people already face high levels of discrimination by health care providers. </p>
<p>Two of my children identify as LGBTQ. They are no less worthy of high quality health care than their sibling or parents. It's preposterous to think that one child could be free to receive care in a particular doctor's office but the other two could be denied care. Allowing this proposal undermines the dignity and health of millions of US citizens and that is not acceptable. I oppose this proposal. <strong>-Jennifer Robinson, Marshall MI</strong></p>
<hr><p>My son is gay. To say that I am proud of him is an understatement. He graduated first in his class from Columbia Law School. He clerked for two Federal judges, was a Bristow Fellow with the Office of Solicitor General in the Department of Justice, and is now a senior associate at a large Washington, D.C. law firm. In addition to his academic and employment achievements, he is a kind, funny, compassionate, and decent human being.</p>
<p>It is unconscionable that he could be denied proper health care simply because he is gay. Our son came out to us five years ago at the age of 26. We love him unconditionally and never once considered turning our backs on him. But like many parents, we never anticipated being in the position of becoming political advocates, asking our elected officials to support LGBTQ nondiscrimination policies and legislation. Today we urge that the newly proposed regulations to Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act not be adopted. <strong>-Paige Weber, McLean VA</strong></p>
<hr><p>I am a gay man taking PrEP (Truvada). I can tell you first hand that dealing with health care while identifying as LGBT is not easy. I have had health care providers shame me away from protective measures like PrEP and make me feel uncomfortable, but overall I am one of the lucky ones. </p>
<p>I have great insurance and a network of LGBT friends who were able to help me find a culturally competent provider. Still, it took me three months to get into an LGBT-friendly clinic in Washington, DC, which is one of the most LGBT friendly cities in the country. </p>
<p>Not everyone has the privilege of waiting three months; not everyone has a workplace who offers good insurance, and not everyone has a network of LGBT friends to help them navigate through the process of finding proper care. These problems compound for transgender members of the community, particularly those who live in rural or conservative areas.</p>
<p>Our health and our LIVES are at stake. We have every right to the same health care as the rest of the world. <strong>-Brennan Suen, Washington D.C.</strong></p>
<hr><p><a contents="" data-link-label="Health Care Discrimination" data-link-type="page" href="/health-care-discrimination" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/594c3ef5f62c8b1b574d9151417eb7ac360b1b20/original/resource-center.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" /></a>In 2013, my wife was working as an attorney in a solo practice. I had recently come out as transgender and as a result, lost my job. We needed health insurance but neither of us could get approved. We had no health problems, no history of smoking or using drugs, no pre-existing conditions......except for being transgender. </p>
<p>Applications for coverage were met by letter after letter of rejection. They were very clear. We were denied due to identifying as transgender. We went without coverage and became cash customers. We didn’t go to the doctor if we got sick and used the local urgent care as our primary care physician. </p>
<p>The addition and enforcement of Section 1557 provided not only peace of mind, but a healthier outcome for both of us. I now have insurance through my employer - the Resource Center in Dallas. My wife Katie has an Affordable Care Act policy that covers her needs. </p>
<p>The loss of Section 1557 puts all of that in jeopardy again, and we are extremely concerned. We have experienced first hand what insurance companies can do when they are allowed to discriminate. </p>
<p>The new interpretation of the nondiscrimination provision of Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act will directly affect the very communities the law is meant to protect including women, older adults, people with disabilities, and the LGBTQ community. These populations already face high levels of discrimination by health care providers. We oppose the proposal to rollback protections on 1557. <strong>-Leslie & Katie, Dallas TX</strong></p>
<hr><p>I have a 9 yr old transgender daughter, and I oppose discrimination against her on any level. I worry that because she is trans, she will face discrimination by medical professionals. My parents are both anesthetists and work in hospitals. I know that their personal feelings for their patients do not enter into their ability or decision to provide the absolute best care they are able to based on what is best for that individual. All people in the medical field should treat all patients equally, regardless of ethnicity, gender, sex, color, income level, creed, religion, or belief system. <strong> -Amanda Skinner, Alpharetta GA</strong></p>
<hr><p>My wife and I have three children, ages 6, 4 and 2. Since she was a toddler, our middle child has been adamant that, that despite the gender we assigned her at birth, she is a girl. She's a happy, thriving child. But every time we bring her to a new healthcare provider, we have to explain the situation. Yes, the birth certificate and health records say "M." Yes, that child you see in front of you, in the dress, with the fingernail polish, is the same child in those health records. But please call her "her." Etc. etc. </p>
<p>The protections enshrined in existing regulations, which prohibit discrimination against gender, let us bring our child to any health care provider, without concern for how we will be treated. The doctor's office feels like a sanctuary, where our kid can just be herself, compared to, say, department store bathrooms or public swimming pools, where we always half wonder what some jerk might say. By removing those protections, that sanctuary might be stripped away. The proposed regulation should not become law. <strong>-Benjamin Delson, Cleveland Heights OH</strong></p>
<hr><p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/052bf5db51619e5447ad7b62dbf6a49679371fe9/original/17498844-1193943290731530-3589467429735921317-n-2.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />No one should be denied care because of their gender or how they present. Every human being has the right to fully participate in society, to health and wellness, regardless of their gender. My best friend - my brother - is a trans man. He has severe allergies and health issues. He lives in continual fear that he will die as a result of being denied care. It is agony for him, and agony for me to see his struggles. No one should live with this fear. It is cruel and it violates American values. Please do not remove these protections. It could mean life or death for people like my brother. <strong>-Kristin Houser, Atlanta GA</strong></p>
<hr><p>I support equality for all. As a parent, ally, and friend who has LGBTQ+ family members and friends, I want to make sure NO ONE is discriminated against because of who they are or how they choose to identify. Health care must include caring for LGBTQ+ people and also must include reproductive rights, so those needing birth control, abortion care, and tubal ligations can get the care they need. Please support equality in health care. <strong>-Nancy Dollard, Uniontown OH</strong></p>
<hr><p>My daughter is transgender, therefore part of the LGBTQ community. She is no less worthy of quality health care than any other citizen. It's preposterous to think that she could be denied access to healthcare and the dignity and respect that should come with it. I strongly reject this administration’s proposed rule to amend Section 1557 of the Health Care Rights Law. Removing discrimination protections speaks volumes about the Trump administration’s lack of empathy for and the direct attack of the LGBTQ community. I urge you not to support these changes. -<strong>Donn Reid: proud father of an LGBTQ daughter, Cos Cob CT</strong></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/57796452019-06-04T10:39:59-07:002019-06-04T10:49:40-07:00Leslie & Katie's Story: Denied Coverage<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/594c3ef5f62c8b1b574d9151417eb7ac360b1b20/original/resource-center.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></p>
<p>In 2013, my wife was working as an attorney in a solo practice. I had recently come out as transgender and as a result, lost my job. We needed health insurance but neither of us could get approved. We had no health problems, no history of smoking or using drugs, no pre-existing conditions......<strong><em>except for being transgender</em></strong>. </p>
<p>Applications for coverage were met by letter after letter of rejection. They were very clear. We were denied due to identifying as transgender. We went without coverage and became cash customers. We didn’t go to the doctor if we got sick and used the local urgent care as our primary care physician. </p>
<p>The addition and enforcement of Section 1557 provided not only peace of mind, but a healthier outcome for both of us. I now have insurance through my employer - the <a contents="Resource Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.myresourcecenter.org/" target="_blank">Resource Center</a> in Dallas. My wife Katie has an Affordable Care Act policy that covers her needs. </p>
<p>The loss of Section 1557 puts all of that in jeopardy again, and we are extremely concerned. <strong>We have experienced first hand what insurance companies can do when they are allowed to discriminate. </strong></p>
<p>The new interpretation of the nondiscrimination provision of Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act will directly affect the very communities the law is meant to protect including women, older adults, people with disabilities, and the LGBTQ community. These populations already face high levels of discrimination by health care providers. We oppose the proposal to rollback protections on 1557.</p>
<p><a contents="Click here to send your comment opposing health care discrimination." data-link-label="Got 2 Minutes?" data-link-type="page" href="/got-2-minutes" target="_blank"><span class="font_large">Click here to send your comment opposing health care discrimination.</span></a></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/57474232019-05-08T13:49:20-07:002019-05-08T13:49:20-07:00Wanda's Story: I Was In A Mental Hospital<p><span class="font_regular"><strong>Story credit to Wanda Martinez-Johncox and I'm From Driftwood</strong></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/b9ba701a209638f213ce09d99b22c8589997b0af/original/wanda.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" />At the age of 13, Wanda was watching the Miss Universe pageant on her family's black and white television in Puerto Rico. When Miss Puerto Rico won the crown, Wanda wrote a love letter to her inviting her to dinner to celebrate. It was her first experience with same-sex attraction. Wanda's mother found the letter under her pillow and told her never to mention those feelings about women to anyone again. Wanda's grandmother took her to church the next day to confession, and told her, "people like that get HIV".</p>
<p>After high school, Wanda's family sent her from Puerto Rico to the United States to receive treatment for her attraction to women. Wanda spent 7 days in a mental hospital and was released after the doctor there told her they were not able to help with her same-sex attraction. Upon being released Wanda attempted suicide twice. She felt her family was ashamed of her and she did not know how to "fix" herself.</p>
<p>A friend at work told Wanda to attend a workshop hosted by the Out Alliance at the LGBT center in Rochester, New York. She immediately felt a connection to the other attendees. Wanda says it was the first time she felt she was not alone.</p>
<p>Wanda blossomed after finding a supportive community. She is now married with two children. She would like other LGBTQ people to know that they are not alone, and your local LGBTQ community center can provide support. To hear more of Wanda's story, <a contents="click here." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BArlFoXIs08&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">click here.</a></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/56710182019-03-06T12:29:10-07:002019-03-13T19:40:52-07:00Women's History Month<p>March is Women's History Month. It serves to commemorate and encourage the study, observance and celebration of the vital role of women in American history. CAN will be featuring strong women who act as advocates and educators within the LGBTQ community. Check back often for updates, and if you know of someone we should feature, email their contact information to: <a contents="tanya@lgbtcenters.org" data-link-label="" data-link-type="email" href="mailto:Tanya%20Tassi" target="_blank">tanya@lgbtcenters.org</a>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/4a4043b5a53e960fd32d03aea16a0260b5363435/original/samantha-swaim.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsImxhcmdlIl1d.png" class="size_xl justify_center border_" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/53c586a0ee8c5b49e651924d589630b5a1c4cf78/original/ana-2.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsImxhcmdlIl1d.png" class="size_xl justify_center border_" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/729d52a54d40e138701a1a797948d81b35310d3e/original/denise-1.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsImxhcmdlIl1d.png" class="size_xl justify_center border_" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/8b1714905e3e5d738fcc96c1ee5923108670f38b/original/updated-rita.png" class="size_orig justify_center border_" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/56339972019-02-08T13:01:30-07:002020-11-04T02:41:37-07:00Ami & Val's Story: We Adopted Three Children<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/7e83795f32897f53359eb0efd5a8e751a3b7b9a6/original/image1.jpeg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpeg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Ami and Val of Zionsville, PA are adoptive moms to three beautiful kids who came out of the foster system as older children. They have been featured twice in the Huffington Post Gay Voices "Let Love Define Family" series:</p>
<p><a contents="February 2nd, 2017" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/28/amy-val-gay-family_n_4859892.html" style="" target="_blank">February 28th, 2014</a>: About to welcome their first daughter</p>
<p><a contents="May 15th, 2015" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/15/val-ami-gay-family_n_7268266.html" target="_blank">December 6th, 2017</a>: The eve of their first daughter's adoption</p>
<p>“I’ve always felt I needed to open my home to these kids,” said Val. “It has bothered me that these kids were viewed as throwaways, that people had misconceptions about these kids, about their behaviors and their intentions in life.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/5fb9ae92f2bc89ecf639f77e91346b1b0ac4e479/original/amy-and-val.jpeg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpeg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Ami states, "We are so lucky to have this opportunity, and the gravity of it is not lost on us, nor is the urgent need for loving homes for so many children who, through no fault of their own, wind up in the foster care system. This administration cannot use discrimination and the cry of “religious freedom” to harm those kids, yet here they are again - doing it with impunity.".</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/56222492019-01-31T17:56:23-07:002019-02-19T10:35:15-07:00Black History Month: LGBTQ Advocates<p>February marks Black History month, and this year, CAN is featuring photos and quotes from some of our members who have made significant contributions to the LGBTQ community. Keep checking back as we add more content throughout the month! Want to submit your own quote and photo? Email it to: <a contents="Tanya@lgbtcenters.org" data-link-label="" data-link-type="email" href="mailto:Tanya@lgbtcenters.org" target="_blank">Tanya@lgbtcenters.org</a>.</p>
<hr><h3>Monika Pickett, <em>Author, veteran, LGBTQ advocate, activist</em>
</h3>
<h3><em><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.monikampickett.com/" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/f2dd5857b9f5d312977afe1cbc494a9e5429eb2a/original/monika-pickett-1.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></a></em></h3>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<h3 style="text-align: right;">Cheryl R. Riley, <em>Artist/Art Advisor</em>
</h3>
<p><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://cherylr-riley.squarespace.com/" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/c9425e966d9a75f6881460d52e8d90255c4ad481/original/cheryl.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_right border_" /></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<h3> </h3>
<h3><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/717d6fcedaf07ef0056373a4eb143318668580fa/original/sharon-brown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_left border_" /></h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3 style="text-align: right;">Dr. Ashlee C. Fowlkes, <em>CEO, Fowlkes Consulting</em>
</h3>
<h3><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/8ef32102c66de0292250203a647cf9bbfa7b3ffc/original/ashlee.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_right border_" /></h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/3254d2f1bec18cf54b7ebf6a1bf756d654d0df58/original/jah-3.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_left border_" /></p>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3 style="text-align: right;">Curtis Lipscomb, <em>Executive Director, LGBT Detroit</em><br><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.lgbtdetroit.org/" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/6ad83aad301e0149a187fc4f7403f49fcd110501/original/curtis.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsImxhcmdlIl1d.png" class="size_l justify_right border_none" alt="" /></a>
</h3>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/55114702018-11-13T12:51:59-07:002019-01-07T18:20:38-07:00Faith's Story: I Am Transgender<p>In honor of International Trans Awareness Week, I asked Twitter follower Faith from North Carolina three questions:</p>
<p>1. At what age did you start living your truth?</p>
<p><em>Faith: I tried to come out at 27 but it didn't work out. Tried again at 31 and I've been me ever since (am now 34).</em></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/fd59d04c7033280b32f219e9d867db7c0a189dc9/original/faye.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />2. What is the biggest challenge you face as a trans person?</p>
<p><em>Faith: Getting acceptance from my parents. They haven't disowned me, but family get-togethers are always really awkward and depressing. I don't know if it will ever get better, but I try to stay hopeful.</em></p>
<p>3. What is your favorite thing to do to relax and unplug from the world?</p>
<p><em>Faith: Either work on a writing project or (and don't laugh at me) clean my house. I find something therapeutic in the action of creating order out of chaos.</em></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/55114692018-11-13T12:47:35-07:002019-01-07T18:20:26-07:00Samantha's Story: I Am Transgender<p>I'm Samantha, from the UK, a Happily Married Trans Woman & Mother. </p>
<p>It took me far too much of my life realize that the only person holding me back from being my true self, was me...In fact, I was well into my 30's before I finally took the leap to begin living my authentic life. Sure, it was a long time coming but, I’ve never been happier. </p>
<p>The world isn’t easy for trans people but, day-to-day life is fairly “normal” (yuck – I hate that word). That’s not to say though that I don’t face a few problems. Some I expected, some I didn’t… </p>
<p>There are all the obvious things we worry about. What if my family disown me? What if I lose my job? etc. but I have been very lucky in that respect. I haven’t been disowned, my clients are still happy to work with me, and my family are being really supportive. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/d5f3c026ba92e887f9e64bf2211742ff855cc6d6/original/sam-4.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />The biggest problem I have really had to get my head around though is that I suddenly feel like a target. The recent explosion of negative media, political assaults and acts of physical violence towards trans people is hard to ignore. Maybe it was always there but, until now, it didn’t feel like it was directed at me. </p>
<p>For instance, when the UK media was having a field day, slating trans people within Rainbows (That’s the UK Girl Guides for younger kids), it felt like a personal attack. My daughter had a meeting planned at Rainbows the day after a huge story broke. I won’t lie, I felt really exposed there. Exposed myself, and worried for my daughter. That evening though, I still walked my daughter down to her meeting. What else could I do? I wasn’t going to hide who I am! </p>
<p>Now, if I’m not careful here, I could paint a picture of the world being a very bleak place for trans people right now. Truth is though, from my experience, most people simply aren’t as awful as you might think. In fact, most of the people I meet have never met a trans person, have no idea of the hate in the media and are largely outraged when I explain to them what is actually happening in the world right now. Most people are generally really lovely and able to see past “what I am” to see “who I am.” </p>
<p>I guess my point is, don’t let the bleak picture the media portrays define who you are as a person. I really did let it get to me and it’s done nothing for my self-esteem. </p>
<p>It’s not just about ignoring the awful things you hear, you need to actively look after yourself too. It took me years to understand what was meant by “Self Care” but, now I really understand the benefit of it. We all need to take a little time off from our lives being simply about our gender identity. </p>
<p>When I really want to chill, I run a lovely hot bubble bath. I can lay there for an hour or so, with a good book and just relax. When its time to get out, I wrap myself up in a snuggly onesie or some new PJ’s (maybe even have a glass of wine) and let myself unwind. Self Care is taking that little bit of time for yourself, it’s important. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/33ed91297854c44ed182509f6b980cd0ab17f3e0/original/sam3.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" />Equally as important though is to make time for the people in your life. My wife, my daughter, my family and friends were always a massively important part of my life. They are going through a lot too, so I am making an extra special effort to make sure life just carries on as before. Dinner with the parents, days out with little one, and nights out with my amazing wife. Nothing’s really changed in that aspect, and it feels lovely. </p>
<p>Every trans person I have met on my journey has their own incredible story to tell. We are so lucky to have such an amazingly supportive community around us. A visible community is something I wish I could have had when I was growing up (in the dark ages of dial up internet) but, it simply wasn’t there. That’s why I was so grateful for the opportunity to write this for Action Link. </p>
<p>I think the most important thing we can do as trans people is to be visible. To show the world that we are, that we are real people, that we have real lives and to help them see that we are not a threat to anyone. </p>
<p>Anyway, that’s my two pence on that. Thanks for reading and I wish you all the very best in your journey. </p>
<p>Love & Hugs </p>
<p>Samantha</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/53278242018-07-02T08:20:22-07:002019-01-07T18:20:00-07:00Brody Ray's Story: America's Got Talent<p><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.brodyray.com/music" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/5f2a56595006e8349afc568f55fc12e87e60a6ff/original/brody.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></a>Born in the small town of Kearney, Nebraska, Brody Ray knew he wasn’t like everyone else at the age of 3. He says, “As I started to figure out what made boys and girls different, I realized I wasn’t connecting with my body. I remember going through the drive-thru at McDonalds and insisting on getting the boy toy in my happy meal. I would kick the back of my mom’s seat until she said ok”. Brody came out to his parents when he was 8 after his mother asked him if he felt he should be a boy. He was diagnosed with GID or Gender Identity Disorder shortly after. </p>
<p>As a teen, Brody began researching the transition process. He made an appointment at a clinic in Kearny, hoping they would connect him with resources and medical advice. After sharing his concerns and feelings, the doctor told Brody she did not have any information on the subject. “She said there was nothing that could be done for me and pushed me out the door quickly. I never felt more humiliated and lost than I did at that moment”, says Brody. </p>
<p>In 2010 at the age of 22, Brody started his transition. “I told my parents I couldn’t wait any longer, and that I would move to California and start my life as a man, or I could stay and they could help me as a family. My mom broke down in tears because she felt she was losing her daughter. I reminded her I would always be the same person. We started our journey together and they’ve been supportive ever since.” </p>
<p>Brody felt it was important to share his story, and as a talented singer/songwriter he realized the stage could be his platform. “I try my best to help others understand me in a way that would make sense to them if they had no knowledge or education on the subject. If they still resist, I simply walk away and continue to focus on the positive things happening in my life. We cannot live our lives trying to validate ourselves to others. We ARE valid. We exist. This is real.” </p>
<p>Brody <a contents="auditioned for America's Got Talent" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.nbc.com/americas-got-talent/video/brody-ray-auditions/3751101" target="_blank">auditioned for America's Got Talent</a> this year and appeared in front of a large crowd and the celebrity judges during the final audition round. The room fell in love with Brody and he advanced to the finals. When asked if he feels he’s a role model for other trans performers, Brody quickly replies, “I absolutely hope I am! I’ve had quite a few trans artists come up to me personally and thank me for the inspiration. That pushes me to succeed more than anything else. I want to show my LGBTQ community that we do not have to live within the societal confinements the world puts on us. We can live happy, successful lives just like everyone else because we ARE everyone else.” </p>
<p><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.brodyray.com/music" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/55d82144b2a40389c22deccf99715798a8abff8d/original/wake-your-dreams.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" /></a>What was it like to step out onto the huge America’s Got Talent stage and perform? Brody claims “It was actually very terrifying. But in that moment something came over me and I knew I was in a safe place. I was able to open up to the crowd and the judges and tell them a little about me. The crowd stood and screamed and cheered for me for what seemed like an eternity. And as my eyes started to fill up with tears and they started to sit down, they rose back to their feet and continued to cheer. I had never felt more loved in my life than in that very moment. And I hadn't even sang yet! I pulled myself together and sang "Stand In the Light". After every big note the crowd roared. Then my final note came and they sprung to their feet. I've never heard a crowd that loud! The tears started rolling down my face. I knew that I just had the biggest moment of my life. I knew that I was going to be ready for anything. I knew was going to help people through my music.” </p>
<p>In addition to his television success, Brody recently signed with the well-known management team Buddy Lee Attractions in Nashville. “They are one of the only known LGBTQ-friendly agencies and are releasing my new single called ‘Wake Your Dreams’ this month”, he says proudly. Be sure to support Brody on America’s Got Talent Tuesday nights on NBC and visit his website at <a contents="BrodayRay.com" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.brodyray.com/music" target="_blank">BrodayRay.com</a> to download his single.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/51924152018-04-20T07:44:02-07:002018-04-20T07:44:02-07:00Gary's Story: GLOWS<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/e923a039d926129caaeedf098b33a1e193fb5c1c/original/skipics-080.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />I called Gary on a Friday morning, and he chatted with me from his home in Lake Conway, Florida; which is located on the same street as the former Pulse Nightclub. He tells me the site is being made into a memorial museum, referencing the mass shooting that occurred on June 12th, 2016. 50 people died and 58 were injured with all but one (the shooter) identifying as LGBTQ or an ally. </p>
<p>Gary said he was bullied a lot in school, but instead of deterring him, it motivated him to focus on his studies and he graduated as valedictorian of his high school class. He spent many years in the support of our military. He was granted disability retirement after being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Gary relies heavily on his service dogs and husband Phil to assist him with daily activities, but he remains upbeat with a cheerful attitude and a playful sense of humor. Now self-described as “retired”, Gary and Phil have a long history of being active within the LGBTQ community. </p>
<p>They met through a newspaper ad in 1990, each of them writing to the other. Gary proposed to Phil on Valentine’s Day of 1991. They were married later that year by Reverend Jimmy Brock at the Joy Metropolitan Community Church of Orlando. Same-sex marriage was not legal anywhere in the United States at that time. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/8dbcd8af0dbed9a8000c26e257e33a83e87d5e04/original/skipics-091.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />On July 6th, 2012 - the first day a countywide domestic partner registry became available in Orange County, FL – Gary and Phil unknowingly became the first couple to register. Gary said it was a pleasant surprise to have that honor. Having been in a committed relationship for more than two decades by this point, the registry was a “first step toward actual marriage” in Gary’s opinion. They finally shared some of the same rights their married heterosexual friends had always enjoyed including hospital visitation, emergency notifications, guardian decisions, healthcare decisions, and funeral/burial decisions. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/b10fa32a7d54570944768f07aa97e66185ff08d1/original/dogboardpics-003.jpg/!!/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" />Around the same time Gary and Phil began their relationship, they decided to combine their passion for water skiing and their desire to give back to their community. Gay and Lesbians of Orlando Waterskiers (GLOWS) was born. Longtime fans of wakeboarding, waterskiing , trick skiing, double Hydrosliding spray wars, and even barefoot skiing; it was a natural fit for the couple. For over 25 years, they took their boat out onto the water at least once a month, forming a popular niche within the LGBTQ community of Orlando. The boat trips were open to anyone on any day. For the price of gas people enjoyed wakeboarding and waterskiing with others from the LGBTQ community. While they don’t go out as often anymore, Gary said they will accommodate people who request a GLOWS trip whenever possible. </p>
<p>Despite medical challenges, Gary remains a vital part of his community. Since last century he has worked within the Orange County, FL school system as a volunteer teacher. He and Phil attend events at The Center in Orlando. They enjoy travelling, spending time with their service dogs, and catching up with friends. Gary lives his life to the fullest and says he is grateful for every single day.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50681452018-02-07T21:06:36-07:002020-12-07T11:06:56-07:00Curtis's Story: Leadership In The Black LGBT Community<p><span class="font_large"><strong>Curtis Lipscomb on Leadership in the Black LGBT Community </strong></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Curtis Lipscomb is the Executive Director of <a contents="LGBT Detroit " data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.lgbtdetroit.org/" target="_blank">LGBT Detroit </a>and the Founder of <a contents="Hotter Than July" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.lgbtdetroit.org/hotterthanjuly/" target="_blank">Hotter Than July</a>, Detroit’s Annual Black Gay Pride Celebration </p>
<p>LGBT Detroit is a Detroit based nonprofit organization whose mission is to increase awareness of and support to Detroit's dynamic LGBT culture through education and advocacy with integrity and pride. The safe space we have deliberately designed is quite unique in America. </p>
<p><strong>My Path to Self-Discovery </strong></p>
<p>My journey to leadership in LGBT Community in Detroit began in my youth. I have been blessed to come out in 1980 when I was only 15. I was extremely blessed to be supported by a community made up of people who supported me in my truth. Humorously, I came out to my 9th grade English teacher at Cass Technical High School, through a journal entry. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/0246c4464bfca0feda273a867509f77008339ef9/medium/download.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" />In 1980, there was a lot of social change happening. I came from a very unique and unusual situation, and because of the support of extended family, I didn’t try to kill myself, or do drugs upon self discovery. All throughout my high school years I was never bullied, harassed, or beaten up. I was free and encouraged to pursue a dream of being a fashion designer.. My high school years were wonderful. My school mates from Cass Tech allowed me to be me. We are still friends to this day and our 35th Reunion occurs later this year. </p>
<p>I came from a single-parent household, so if I wanted or needed to purchase something for myself, I had to work to get the money. My first real job was as an assistant to a Black, gay man named David Eric who had a fashion design studio on Livernois and Outer Drive in Detroit, in an area still known as “The Avenue of Fashion.” Mr. Eric knew what his customers wanted, but he couldn’t illustrate, so I was his artist. My boss treated me respectfully and I was paid to do something I loved to do and was very good at doing. </p>
<p>Although still a teenager, I was encouraged to go to a party with “older” gay men who were about 20-21 years old (When you’re 15, 20 years old IS “older”!) The party was hosted by Alan Meyers, the brother of Alicia Meyers who had a national hit recording out at the time. Attending this party was another turning point in my young life. Although I had already come out and was comfortable with my sexual identity, at that party I saw COMMUNITY! Sophisticated, well-dressed, people (Black, straight, gay, lesbian, bi transgender and others) were in attendance. I said to myself: “Oh my God! THIS is it! This is home!” That is when I realized that I properly fit in somewhere. </p>
<p>Although most black and brown people do not want to be separated from family, many are shunned away. I didn’t know it then, but now I realize that I stand on the shoulders of people who made it safe for me to come out in 1980. I stand on the shoulders of our warriors like Bayard Rustin, Langston Hughes, and Ruth Ellis, among many others. Rustin begat my boss and my boss begat me. </p>
<p><strong>New York City and the AIDS Crisis </strong></p>
<p>Growing up in Detroit, I didn’t really realize that I was BLACK. It was not until I left Detroit and moved to New York City to attend Parsons "The New School of Design" that race became an issue. While there, I was described as a Black boy from “troubled” Chicago with a knife in my back pocket. I didn’t have a struggle with my gay identity, but my Blackness became problematic. For the first time in my life, I was in the minority. I was one of only five Black people in my class. My sexual identity may not always been obvious, but I was often reminded of my Blackness. </p>
<p>This was about 1983 and it was the beginning of the AIDS crisis. As I recall, the epidemic hit the Broadway community first, and then the fashion community down the street. There was a known death every weekend. In the early 1980s, the bar was our “CNN,” where LGBT community news was delivered. The news at that time was “who’s sick and who’s not.” There was always a status update at the bar. We watched, helpless, as people shrunk and died in droves. I saw and experienced many of my industry heroes die right in front of me. Being gay took on a new paradigm; now we were looked at as a disease-carrying people. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/f5a45c9fdd892ff7e92e8bdb741da65b53822834/medium/gettyimages-499251544.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" />Eventually, my best friend from Detroit, Robert Penick III, came to New York to attend the Fashion Institute of Technology. I perceived that Robert had a good life back home. He was the apple of his mother’s eye and anything he needed and wanted, she would provide. He was also comfortable with his gay identity. </p>
<p>We became roommates, and having Robert in New York with me made living in the Big Apple more bearable; that is until Robert found out he may have been infected. Sadly, he was positively diagnosed. I saw my best friend wither away and ultimately, die in my arms. Robert made his transition in May of 1992. He was only 27 years old. His death has and continue to traumatized me. </p>
<p>I had lived in New York for about ten years by now, but after Robert died, I knew unconsciously that I did not want anybody to have his horrible experience. So I left New York because I did not feel safe. Many of us were walking in a trance. There was no significant support for us. The only support group available at the time was not particularly supportive of Black, gay men. </p>
<p>I stored up these thoughts in my head as I came back home to Detroit in September and reconnected with my high school mates. I left everything in New York, my hopes and my dreams, and came back home to Detroit. </p>
<p><strong>A Community Organizer in Detroit </strong></p>
<p>My salvation came when I met James Drain who later became my boyfriend and introduced me to a support group specifically for Black, gay men. We met every Tuesday night in the basement St. Matthew and St. Joseph church on Woodward. </p>
<p>That was my saving space. It was called Men of Color Motivational Group (MOC). There were lots of different activities, but every Tuesday night, that’s where we were. But the deaths continued, including my boyfriend James Drain. </p>
<p>The AIDS holocaust did not stop. It was happening in New York and also here at home in Detroit. Grown men became sick and wards of the state. If you didn’t have resources, you were in trouble. </p>
<p>I decided that I wanted to contribute to supporting community by helping people share their stories. Some members of MOC re-established a newsletter called the “The Motivator.” It was highly successful at capturing and delivering experiences of the members. The periodical gained acclaim and many sought to obtain one. There were problems, though ... many very petty. Leadership did not support the work, but we continued with our project. </p>
<p>Later, the publishing world changed; people were now starting to get their information from the Internet. We couldn’t sustain the publication, but we unknowingly were starting to do community development work. </p>
<p>We removed the project from MOC, put our own money into it, and started Kick Publishing Company. We were part of a new, national Black LGBT awareness era. There was a magazine in California, in New York state, and now in Michigan. All of a sudden, we became national publication.. The magazine did very well. </p>
<p>Next came the development of the Black, Gay Pride movement in 1995; I co-formed Hotter than July (HTJ) and the first event was held in 1996. We ultimately became the world’s 2nd oldest Black Gay Pride event in the world … stressing cultural development.. </p>
<p>We developed “Kick” as a non-profit, and called it “Kick-The Agency for African-Americans.” The Black gay youth were doing a dance of that name in the 70s and 80s. It made sense to name it that in 1994. From 1994 through 2010 I did not have a salary. This was all volunteer. </p>
<p>That was the 3rd big journey of my life, from 2002- 2010. </p>
<p><strong>From Part-time Activist to Full-Time Leader </strong></p>
<p>When I moved back to Detroit, I had a full time day job even while I was developing and growing Kick. I was development director for AIDS Partnership Michigan when a unique opportunity presented itself. A national foundation gave us a huge two-year investment. Our board of directors decided to hire a full-time executive director. I recognized that many civic leaders are not paid to work in community. This position I now hold is very unique. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/b8cb0efa9ecee00882c263584977118b54b1372d/medium/htj-logo-tm.png" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Soon after we moved to our 2nd office in 2011, it was time to create a Site Relocation Plan and to think about acquiring our new offices, which turned out to be a major development in our growth. It took four very difficult years during the age of the “New Detroit,” but now we are the only African-American, LGBT led nonprofit in the United States that owns its own commercial property. </p>
<p>I feel it’s important to share the leadership of the purchase, (LGBT President, developener, realtor, search committee) were African American LGBT AND allies. This blessed safe, brave space became a beacon where people could sense excellence as soon as guests arrive through our doors. At LGBT Detroit, our visitors can find support and resources to help them thrive … in a very healthy way. </p>
<p>This has been quite a learning experience for me. Although I may be solid in my gayness, many are not. I have to work with people who are not LGBT and questioning identity. I continue to learn to meet people who have resources willing to share; learn modern business best practices and learn new techniques on how to seek support. A lot of engagement and communication must continue to occur and try to figure out how to uplift each other. </p>
<p>Even though we are experiencing a lot of social change, homophobia and racism still exist. They haven’t gone away. LGBT people live in double discrimination. Even if I mask my sexual identity, I’m harassed for being black. </p>
<p><em>Leadership takes commitment, perseverance, and trust. With cooperation from the public and private sector; individuals and masses … we all succeed. Gamble and Huff wrote, “ We all have a mission to change the condition.” I believe that. We are all rooted in knowing that we belong to each other and we are one another’s keeper.</em></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50649422018-02-06T12:25:17-07:002018-02-07T20:55:51-07:00Andre's Story: Black History Month<p><strong>Andre is the Executive Director of <a contents="The Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Southern Nevada." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://thecenterlv.org/" target="_blank">The Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Southern Nevada</a></strong></p>
<p><span class="font_regular">By the time I was 17 years old, I decided that what I wanted to do for a living was to help people, I had already felt deep seeded rejection by my peers at school and at church, because I was perceived to be gay. The loneliness and isolation I felt was something I knew I didn’t want others to feel. I wanted to “be there” for others, so, I decided to study Psychology to embark upon my journey.</span></p>
<p><span class="font_regular">My career didn’t show direction until I came out and eventually do work focused on recruiting foster and adoptive parents in the LGBTQ community, and volunteering for the Human Rights Campaign’s (HRC) steering committee of Las Vegas. At the time, in 2018, when all of these variables converged, I never imagined that I would go on to work in Washington DC as a policy analyst for the National Alliance to End Homelessness after earning a Masters degree in Public Administration; or that I’d become an advisory council member of HRC’s All Children All Families program; or that I would become an advisory board member of Cyndi Lauper’s 40 to None/True Colors project focused on ending homelessness for LGBTQ youth; or that I’d spend a day with her and others, lobbying Congress and the Administration, and participating in a Congressional briefing alongside her, the President of HRC, and the Center for American Progress, all the while taping an episode of her reality show, Cyndi Lauper: Still So Unusual. And I definitely didn’t see becoming the Executive Director of The Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Southern Nevada. </span></p>
<p><span class="font_regular"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/9baefac4b381b6f17d2fea0e17e758671714bc86/small/andrew.jpg" class="size_s justify_right border_" />As a black man you’re faced with many challenges – just because of the color of your skin and all the biases, bigotries, prejudices, stereotypes and discriminations that comes along with it. You add the identity of gay and it brings up additional bigotries, prejudices, stereotypes and discriminations. And on the job, while navigating one’s career and intersections can make for a dizzying journey. </span></p>
<p><span class="font_regular">I can’t point to many instances where I can say I was hugely discriminated against or passed over because I am black and gay, but subtly, I can point to infinite examples – examples that don’t have words, but are wrapped around feelings, instincts and just knowing. Whether its backhanded comments about how eloquently I speak, or how I ‘carry’ myself. Or when I’m told that I’m either not black enough, or just the right kind of black that would allow me to become the ED of The Center. At times I’m digestible, other times I’m dismissed, but ultimately, I am supported by individuals and a community that are rooting for me and the success of The Center. </span></p>
<p><span class="font_regular">I’ve been incredibly blessed and grateful to have had a career that has allowed me to play a part in moving the needle on LGBTQ inclusion and equality on policy and practice levels. Looking back at some of my proudest accomplishments I must include:</span></p>
<ul> <li><span class="font_regular">Implementing HRC’s All Children – All Families at the Clark County Department of Family Services </span></li> <li><span class="font_regular">Promoting family intervention, across the U.S., as a viable intervention for ending youth homelessness. </span></li> <li><span class="font_regular">Implementing a mandatory all-staff training, at Clark County Department of Family Services, on LGBTQ competencies.</span></li> <li><span class="font_regular">Playing a role in the development, advocacy and passage of AB99 legislation, in Nevada, that requires in part, providers and foster parents in child welfare and juvenile justice to be trained on LGBTQ competencies. </span></li>
</ul>
<p><span class="font_regular">What I’ve come to learn to accept is how important it is to others that as a gay black man I am the ED of The Center, because with that brings hope to others; faith in others in an otherwise unjust system, and pride in someone that looks like me.</span></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50531912018-01-31T05:10:00-07:002018-02-12T16:29:06-07:00Karen's Story: I Am A Queer DACA Recipient<p>My name is Karen Fierro, I am twenty-two years old, I am queer, undocumented, and unashamed. I currently serve as the Community Assistant at the Tacoma Rainbow Center, a local LGBTQ resource center in Pierce County, Washington. I benefit from Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) but not for much longer. Rarely are the intersectionalities of sexuality and documentation addressed; however it is impossible to have a conversation about my story without turning to these complexities. I was part of the first wave of young people to apply for DACA in 2012. DACA for me meant a short term solution when I was most desperate to find clarity in my life. </p>
<p>The addition of DACA in my life made it possible for me to find employment at my university's admissions office and keep myself from weighing down my family financially. I based my college career off of the idea that DACA was only the beginning of a journey to citizenship. It allowed me to have a sense of belonging while having a chance to grow like most people my age. Most importantly, it allowed me to look beyond my education and imagine myself as a lawyer giving back to the community.<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/d4b723a6aa6bdb471ec6d315746f993ce7b70c40/medium/fierro-karen.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></p>
<p>I felt comfortable to come out as queer two years into my college journey because I believed I was safe from severe consequences. I felt proud of the person I was becoming and I wanted to stop hiding myself from the people I loved. I came out to my family shortly after and I became a disappointment. My whole family’s reputation seemed to be placed on my shoulders. Being a Latina lesbian placed a mark that did not take into consideration my personal success. Without realizing it, I was being pushed back in the shadows by my family. It all became too much to handle my senior year of college. The xenophobia and homophobia that the current administration has revealed made it incredibly difficult to find self-worth. </p>
<p>On September 5th, 2017 the Trump administration ended DACA leaving millions of young adults vulnerable to deportation after March 5, 2018. I will lose my DACA status on September 25th, 2018, with it I will lose my sense of safety and the possibility of being a lawyer, giving back to my community. In May 2017, I earned my bachelor’s from Whitworth University in Spokane, Washington. I don’t know what my future will be when September comes next year. </p>
<p>I fear that my efforts to advocate on behalf of my community have left me vulnerable to deportation. It also places me in a country that is dangerous for LGBT folk. I fear of what United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) will do with my and my family’s personal information. We need legislative relief that will not make us or our families vulnerable to deportation. It is up to our representatives in Congress to not back down from a clean bill that doesn’t continue to fund enforcement of the border patrol and increase the number of ICE agents hunting down our families. DACA gave us a temporary defense but our communities are vulnerable and in need of support once again.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50531922018-01-30T21:45:11-07:002021-04-19T14:52:22-07:00Maurice's Story: I Am A Transgender Soldier<p>President Trump says that Transgender people serving in the military will distract the force from fighting and winning wars. He says people like me are a burden that harms readiness. Let’s be clear, the only thing that will ensure success - or failure - on the battlefield will be the side that fights better – or more appropriately - adheres best to the principles of war, and which one does not. I spent nearly twenty-three years in the Army, all of them knowing I was Transgender, and unable to do anything about it. I could have been a better officer had I the opportunity to transition. But that could not happen in the age of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” So, partly to cope with the gender chatter going on in my head, I focused on being a good officer.</p>
<p>Part of what kept the gender chatter at bay was a rigorous study of military science. I memorized the range distance of small arms, mortars, and artillery. I poured over maps of our battle positions in Germany. I could recite the blast radius of a fragmentation grenade, how much weight my soldiers could carry for a five-mile hike, calories needed to fuel their performance, and how much rest they needed. I studied the greats of military history. From Caesar’s Commentaries on the Gallic War to Vegetius, to the Maxims of Antoine-Henri Jomini, to On War by Carl von Clauswitz. I perused Sun Tzu, read Rommel, Liddell-Hart, and Fuller. I learned about the science of operations from Tukhachevsky, Manstein, Guderian, von Mellenthin, and Grant. I even tried reading Che Guevara. Their victories heeded firmly established military principles. If they ever overlooked those principles, or when their nations did, they lost battles, and wars. Principles like: Objective, Offensive, Mass, Economy of Force, Maneuver, Unity of Command, Security, Surprise, and Simplicity1. From squad level to national strategy all these principles have meaning. They may articulate how we fight. Yet they never answered for me the reason why. Why did I fight? The answer, for me, came from re-reading our country’s foundation documents. Among them the Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence. For me it answered a fundamental question: Why was I willing to have my life taken?</p>
<p>My answer? It’s the equality thing - because, central to those documents, is the notion that all people are created equal, and that in the United States, everyone expects equality of opportunity. When I was in the Army all our operational planning hewed as close as possible to the applied working of each principle of war. But the one principle every day started with was, the Objective. Be it battle or garrison, every task every day started with a mission. Seizing an enemy held town, or hill, was an infinitely more consequential mission than being assigned to erect a new flag pole on the parade ground. Yet both are missions that have their own complexities, require clarity in directive, a chain of responsibility and command, selecting the right people for the job, selecting enough people for it, and making certain everyone from the commander down to the newest private understands the objective of the mission, or the task at hand. </p>
<p>So too does a nation have objectives. Among them is the job to promote equality of opportunity where structures that hinder it exist. American power is both hard and soft. Our hard power is in our tanks, aircraft carriers, bombers and fighters. Our soft power is in what we are prepared to fight for. It’s in our people, our history. And this is where President Trump’s tweets on Trans military service hurt the most. For he has endorsed an idea asserting America will not offer equal opportunity to some of its citizens. His tweets on Trans men and women serving in the military reveal a fundamental belief that he considers people like me unworthy. Our enemies both foreign, and domestic, seize upon his tweets to create greater wedges of separation among us and our nation, even within our own families. </p>
<p>Our politics is a never-ending dialectic about the nature of our common American objective. This country was founded on the belief, eloquent in its simplicity, that all of us are created equal. Our history is filled with the struggle to extend that equality to all. Often bloody, always hard, we wrestle to perfect that idea. The great men and women we celebrate from our history have all contributed to the perfecting of that foundational notion. President Trump may dent it. But he cannot kill it. Only you and I can do that by giving up. </p>
<p>Welcoming Transgender men and women to openly serve in the military demonstrates to the world what we, as a nation, believe, that all Americans have value, that all Americans are considered worthy of being trusted to fight for the Constitution. I do not know the outcome of this struggle. I won’t say that Trump’s policy pronouncements will soon be reversed. But what I do know is that Americans are a fair-minded people and they will eventually demand fairness.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50531902018-01-30T21:37:37-07:002018-01-30T21:47:55-07:00Dan's Story: Just Call Me Dan<p>(Written by Tanya Witt for Center Action Network) </p>
<p>Dan and I met through mutual friends in 2014. Quiet, gentle, intelligent, with a dry sense of humor; Dan is firmly embedded within the Long Beach LGBTQ community and loved by many. As both a client of and donor to the Long Beach LGBTQ Center, Dan shared her life story with me and explained why the Center holds great significance for her. </p>
<p>Born into a large Catholic Hispanic family; Dan realized early in life that she didn’t fit a traditional female mold. Dan recalls watching her mother change a sibling’s diaper and asking, “How do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”. Dan’s mother got flustered and didn’t answer the question, asking Dan to leave the room. In that moment - at an extremely young age - Dan realized she was different. It was the first of many moments of discomfort. </p>
<p>Years later against the advice of her siblings, Dan wrote a letter to her parents telling them she was a lesbian. Her father took the news reasonably well. Dan’s mother refused to speak to her for three years although they became very close prior to her mother’s passing. As many LGBTQ people do, Dan struggled after coming out to her family. In addition to adjusting to the newness of being publicly out during a time when marriage, adoption, and joining the military were illegal for the LGBTQ community; Dan realized the term ‘lesbian’ didn’t fit how she felt inside. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/256892afa3a956c26deb1ffbc8e31121be69427b/medium/danstorypic.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Depression and hopelessness were constant companions. Dan sought help from the Long Beach LGBTQ Center. Utilizing the counseling services there, Dan gradually came out of her shell. At that same center Dan took her first HIV test, joined a chat group, and attended social activities. Dan survived a critical time in her life in part because of the support and services offered by the Long Beach LGBTQ Center. </p>
<p>She also became more confident. While many people dislike the word ‘queer’, Dan embraces it. “It’s an umbrella term including so many of us. And none of the pronouns fit me,” she said during our interview. “I feel like I’m more than one person if someone uses ‘They’. When I hear ‘She’ it makes me cringe. When people use ‘He’ I just chuckle”. We agreed on ‘She’ for the writing of this piece but ultimately Dan is most comfortable being called ‘Just Dan’. </p>
<p>Dan wears male clothing and keeps her thick silver hair short. I asked if she would consider transitioning and she replied, “No way. It’s fine for some people but not for me. I don’t believe in elective surgery, so I’m stuck with what I’ve got”. Stuck with it? Meaning she’s still not entirely comfortable in her own body? “Is anyone? This is what I have so I’ll work with it, but no…..I’m not entirely comfortable.” </p>
<p>Which is why Dan continues to patronize the Long Beach LGBTQ Center. “I prefer to be around like-minded people. They are more accepting. When I’m in public I get stared at a lot. People are trying to figure out what I am. I often feel like I’m being judged or made fun of when I’m around straight people.” </p>
<p>Dan especially enjoys the yearly Qfilm Festival but frequently attends other Center events as well. She is also a long-time monthly donor. Dan hopes to have a role in bringing even more diversity to the Center. She would like to work with Executive Director Porter Gilberg to create a butch/queer support group. More programming for women only is also on Dan’s wish list. </p>
<p>When I asked Dan for some final words of wisdom she said, “I want to tell other LGBTQ people that it DOES get better. To seek the support of their local LGBTQ center because they are so necessary for those who are struggling with thoughts of suicide, isolation, anxiety, and depression. There is a place for you here.” </p>
<p>***The photo used for this story is titled “birthday selfie with tequila”. It was taken on Dan’s birthday – June 12th, 2016 – the same day as the Orlando Pulse Nightclub shootings.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50532042017-12-31T10:05:00-07:002020-09-24T10:18:52-07:00Robert's Story: I Came Out Later In Life...In Nebraska<p>I've lived a large part of my life looking for community, for a sense of belonging and wanting to be a part of something bigger than myself. I was an Asian orphan, adopted during the years following the Korean Conflict, to an American farming family in rural Nebraska. I grew up feeling different. I was a farm kid who went to town school. I was a Protestant who went to a Catholic high school. I went to a fundamentalist Bible College but was not raised in a fundamentalist church. </p>
<p>Oh, did I mention that I was gay? </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/6795d2db3e811e02112bb1685df36aeb43337c6d/medium/download.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />I tried the "cure" that was offered at the time. I was married to a lovely lady for almost 30 years, had both biological and adopted special needs kids, and went to church every week. Yet I never felt I fit in anywhere. </p>
<p>When my wife passed away I came out. The groups I had been part of quickly disappeared or disassociated themselves from me, including much of my family. And then I found Outlinc, a open, affirming and welcoming group to all people who offered, among other things, a volleyball group once a week. I went - nervous as all get out - and soon discovered a joy that I had never felt before. I felt completely accepted as I was, no explanations needed. I had found a place that I belonged. That was almost 6 years ago. I still go and attempt to play volleyball every week. I feel like a mother hen to the young folks I know. They have offered me love and acceptance in a way that I will never understand. But I will be forever grateful and thankful for their friendship! </p>
<p>I’m sharing my story with the hope that it helps others.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50531952017-12-27T11:20:00-07:002018-01-30T21:59:57-07:00Jaden's Story: I Nearly Ended My Life Before Coming Out<p>My story of coming out was one that required me almost ending my life before having the courage to face the truth. Since I was 17 I have been in mental health counseling. While I had some of the more common difficulties anxiety, depression, and codependency, it was not till I looked at my drug and alcohol recreational use that I realized I needed a clearer view.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/b94f470a7f5375205323dcf85c43c153488e7140/small/jadenchristopher-resized.jpg" class="size_s justify_right border_" />For many years I used drugs and alcohol as a self-medicating process to cope with deeply repressed emotions. When I finally reached my “rock bottom” at 30 years old, I was able to find the help I needed. I entered into rehab and over the course of my recovery many hidden truths were revealed. I woke up and realized I had no identity. I identified with everything on the outside and did not look within. What others labeled me, how my family saw me, what my friends said I was like. In my wholistic healing process I have learned what is my biggest challenge, and how to work on it. Self acceptance, has been at the core of my recovery process. I had many beliefs that I learned over the years that caused me to feel shame and guilt for being who and what I am. </p>
<p>In the first year of my recovery I learned that not only was I a miracle for surviving addiction, I was also a miracle for surviving being a Transgender child. After learning that approximately 43% of Trans youth at the time were committing suicide, I now know I have to make it through. This purpose driven life is determined to make some changes. I attended school for Massage Therapy with the goal of helping myself and those who follow with body dysphoria. </p>
<p>I thank the local Persad Center for helping me make this grade. Their support had a profound impact on my courage to face the challenges of being out in an educational environment. Now I am working on Recovery Specialist Certification so that I can also bring my experience of that to the community. One of the key points for my health was my step into volunteer work with the Washington County Gay Straight Alliance. In this process I have found amazing beings of all types with beautiful stories of coming out. Being able to give back to those who had similar difficulties has meant so much and had an immense impact on me and my well being. Right here, Right now, There is nowhere else I’d rather be.</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50531972017-11-16T21:55:00-07:002018-01-30T21:58:55-07:00Oliver's Story: Homophobia In Nigeria<p>Click on the photo to see Oliver's Videography</p>
<p><a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://youtu.be/OKoOPkXx4g4?list=PLL436i31gYDE2ULrJEg-zNzRjNx4-mcl4" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/957903748b863b55e518484afa01f6ed0f9564e6/medium/oliver.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></a></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50532052017-11-16T10:10:00-07:002018-01-30T22:07:55-07:00Andi's Story: I Am In My 80's And Still Fighting For Equality<p>Andi came out when her son was only four months old. She was seventeen at the time. She knew she was not attracted to men and let her son’s father know she had to pursue a different path. She dated several women before meeting her first true female love, Skid at age 19. Andi and Skid were together for 36 years, and when Skid passed away Andi was left alone and without a place to call home. She began visiting the Los Angeles LGBT Center and became a regular at one of their lesbian support groups. It was there that she met Nancy. After several years of getting to know each other, Andi and Nancy started a relationship and are still together today. Both currently reside at Triangle Square, the Center’s low income LGBT friendly senior housing facility. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/c4bdf3d8c8754292cda21154d6bd83ec56e4277e/medium/glehseniors2-0.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Andi and Nancy love to take walks, try new restaurants, explore Hollywood, and enjoy the many activities offered by the Los Angeles LGBT Center. They both remain active in political causes marching at rallies, sending postcards and letters to their State representatives, and joining the Center’s “Senior Resistance Squad”; making phone calls all over the country in support of LGBT-friendly laws and protections. Andi and Nancy have been featured in films, books, and articles about the challenges older LGBT generations face. Andi feels it is important to continue to fight for equality, especially with the majority of the Trump administration not being LGBT-friendly.</p>
<p>Despite some serious ongoing health issues, Andi maintains an optimistic view. She is proud of her wonderful son and her rich, full life. Andi says, "My life is still going on and I'm doing the best I can to accomplish what I can with the time I have left.”</p>ActionLink: The Center Action Networktag:lgbtactionlink.org,2005:Post/50531962017-09-27T11:55:00-07:002021-02-04T00:01:01-07:00Marvin's Story: I Am An LGBTQ Immmigrant<p> </p>
<p>Click on the photo for Marvin's Videography<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/285455/db22757bddcf5690c69d87b19c9b08b0bb9eb179/medium/capture.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></p>ActionLink: The Center Action Network